I married a smoker

There is nothing more disgusting to me than cigarette smoke. 

Growing up, every single one of my relatives smoked.  I remember coming home from many Thanksgivings, Christmases, birthday parties, and any other family gathering reeking of cigarette smoke.  My eyes and throat would burn for days.  GROSS. 

My parents don't smoke, hardly any of my friends smoke (as far as I know). 

But my husband does.

And I am okay with that, because it's just a deployment thing.

5 years ago, Randy agreed to quit smoking for me.  Not because he really wanted to, but because I wanted him to.  He knew it meant a lot to me, and he knew I hated it, so he did it for me.  He quit practically cold-turkey.  He used the patch for about a month, we ran out, and he decided he didn't even need that anymore.  This happened between deployments 2 and 3.  

When it came time for deployment number 3, we made a deal.  He could smoke for the length of the deployment.  BUT, when he landed at Cherry Point, he was a non-smoker again. 

He's kept to that promise, with the exception of a stretch of 2 months or so at the beginning of last year.  

Smoking is mainly a stress-reliever for him.  So when things start stressing him out, he goes for the cigarettes.  Which is why I completely understand why he needs to smoke during a deployment.  If that's what he needs to do to keep his head on straight and have the frame of mind he needs to be able to make the kinds of decisions he does, then so be it.  

I don't enjoy buying the cigarettes, and I'm fairly certain I sound and look like a complete moron when purchasing them- I have the brand name written on a post-it note in my purse, and have to whip that out each time!  Which is why it frustrated me to no end yesterday when I couldn't find the kind of cigarettes he wanted.  Its one of 2 things Randy asks me to send him when he's deployed.  Cigarettes and Mountain Dew.  I think I can manage to do that for him.  And besides, it makes me feel like I'm doing something to help him through this deployment.

So, for the next 6 months, I will be married to a smoker. But I am completely okay with that!