The In Between

Ugh.  I think this is my least favorite part about the deployment cycle... the weird limbo in between thing we are experiencing right now.

Randy got back yesterday after a month long training.  We have a handful of weeks left until he is gone for 8 months.

And it sucks.

I am at the point where I just want him gone already- because any military wife will tell you- the sooner they leave, the sooner they get back home.  I am, at this point, desperate to start the countdown.  I am sick of this looming sense of doom... because that is what I am dealing with now.

I want to be happy that my husband is home, and we get to spend a long weekend together, but at the same time... I'm afraid to allow myself to get too comfortable in having him home again- because I know it is short lived.  I know that in just a few weeks, I am on my own again for the long haul.  

It's hard to balance preparing myself for deployment, and enjoying the last few days I have left with my guy.  It's just a sucky feeling.  

I used to intentionally pick fights with him, and distance myself from him... because somehow in my mind, that would make it easier when he actually left if I was mad at him for whatever stupid thing I had created in my head.  I've learned that that's not really the best way to handle things, and I make an effort to NOT do that- and just do my very best to enjoy the time we have given.  

The pit in my stomach is there- although I don't think it's as big as it usually is at this point before he leaves.  It makes a huge difference knowing that this is not a combat deployment (at least not yet.)  I actually had a twinge of jealousy the other day when he was rattling off the list of places he will be going- that is definitely something new in relation to deployments.  

Some of these feelings are definitely new- but the suck factor is still the same.  I still have to say see you later, and I still have to get in my car and drive home to an empty house.  I'll allow myself to wallow in self-pity for a day or so, then I will snap myself out of it and move on with my life.   

Until that day comes though, I will try my hardest to make the best of the in between... and I will remember that each day- good, bad, indifferent- will bring me closer to the big goal- homecoming.

Deployment Goals 2013

Well, it's time.

Well, almost.

I saw a movie commercial on TV tonight, and I got really angry when I realized how close we are getting to D-day.  But there isn't a single thing I can do to stop the clock... which for us is both a good thing and a bad thing.  

Believe me, I hate that my husband is leaving again, and that this deployment will be a little bit longer than the rest.  But I am also excited to tackle some new goals, and get myself (and the brat) back into a routine.  

So, here are my deployment goals for round 5:

1.  Save money.  
      
     I feel like this is always a big one for military families during deployments.  We have some pretty specific savings goals this time around- namely a motorcycle for the boy, a cruise to celebrate for us, and just padding our savings a bit.  We will also be coming up on a PCS move soon after he gets home, so that means a bit of job insecurity for me. We are also going to be done paying for the truck in the spring as well, so we will be able to be car payment free- I am ridiculously excited about that.  (I don't recommend to ANYONE getting 2 brand new cars within a year of each other.  Not our smartest move!)

2. Lose weight.
     This is also another typical one for us military wives.  I'm pretty good at losing the weight while the boy is gone- not totally sure why... but I always manage to gain it all back when he gets home.  So my goal is to not only lose weight (I'm aiming for about 20lbs) but to keep it off once he gets home.

3. Have something to look forward to each month.
      Woo!! Travel! A girl's best friend during deployment.  This will be my way of staying busy- and making time pass as quickly as possible.  I am already planning on heading home for Easter, so that takes care of March, and then I will be heading to California in April or May... I haven't quite decided yet.  I'm trying to plan out as far in advance as I can.  I am a planner after all.  It helps when I see everything written out- I like having full weekends with stuff to do and look forward to.  It also gives me something to write to the boy about. So, if anyone would like a visitor, or needs someone to visit in the DC area... give me a shout!

4. Stay positive.
     
     This one might be hard.  Because deployments are hard.  They, unfortunately, don't get easier.  Distance sucks- but I will try my best to focus on the positive and remember that it could always be worse.  It could definitely be worse- this one is not a combat deployment! (yet!) Yay!

5.  Get into a routine again.

     I am a creature of habit, and I have been completely off my game the last few weeks.  Strangely enough, I think I am just ready for this deployment to start, so I can get into the swing of things and just DO THIS.  I am already sick of the waiting game... waiting for him to come home for a little bit longer, only to turn around again and leave for good.  No fun at all.  I need to get myself into a routine- getting up, working out/walking the dog, going to work, etc.  I'll get there... in a few more weeks.

So there they are.  Deployment Goals 2013.  I'm pretty confident that I will be successful... I've done it before, and I plan on kicking ass!

  
       

A Weekend Away

Just like last deployment, one of my goals is to have one fun thing to look forward to each month.  It doesn't matter how small (like a pedicure), or how big (a week long trip to Cali)- I am going to stay busy!

Even though the boy is only away training, I still wanted to do my best to keep busy while he was away.  Lucky for me, one of my closest and oldest friends is pregnant with twins- so  I got to head home this past weekend for her baby shower.  

Now, for those that know me- bridal showers and baby showers don't necessarily rank very high on my list of favorite things.  But when it means that I get to see some of my favorite ladies... I am all about it.

 It was so wonderful to be able to spend even a little bit of time with my "sisters".  We don't get to see each other as often as I would like, and I miss them terribly.  I was reminded again though what an amazing support system I have- each of these ladies has a LOT on their plate- but they were quick to ask how I was doing, and how the boy was doing.  I can't tell you how much that meant to me.


I also got to show off my crafty side... I made some diaper cakes for the shower.  (I'm really quite proud of how these turned out- I surprised myself!)

 My favorite part of the weekend though was getting to spend time with my sister and my sweet little niece.  Emma is 8 weeks old now, and she's already changed so much since I saw her at Christmas.  I was happy (for selfish reasons) that my sister and niece were at home all weekend.  It's rare that I get to spend that much time with my sister- and when we were getting ready for the shower, I felt like I was in high school again, as she was bugging me to borrow my makeup and some random hair products I brought with me. It was actually pretty fun!

I got to snuggle a lot with this little lady:

 
And I loved every second of it.  Having Emma around now definitely makes it harder to leave PA.... I wish I was much much closer to home so I could see her every day.  (I'm secretly still hoping for orders close to home once this deployment is behind us.)

So, Mission Stay Busy was a success for the month of training.  Stay tuned for more deployment adventures.... anybody want to come visit?? I make a GREAT tour guide!! :)