30 minutes

Quick!

What would you do if you only had 30 minutes- 

once a week, maybe less- 

to talk to your spouse, significant other, parent, sibling?

This is a challenge that Randy and I, as a military couple smack in the middle of a deployment, face every single day.  

He gets an opportunity to call once a week.  Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less.  Each phone call is limited to 30 minutes, to give everyone a chance to call home.

When you only have 30 minutes, and a week or more's worth of crap to cram in, it makes you think pretty hard about what's actually important, what is meaningless, and what is straight up BS that doesn't matter anyway.  


Honestly, I think that's another good thing about deployments.  It gives you a chance to prioritize things, and think long and hard about what actually matters.  


Does it really matter that I got a 6 inch crack in my windshield when attempting to put on my new base stickers?  Probably not, because it was an easy fix that I could take care of with one phone call.


Does it really matter that I pre-ordered the Lion King Diamond Edition from the Disney Movie Club?  Yes actually, this does matter, because it's Randy's favorite Disney movie and I knew it would make him laugh.  

Does it really matter that someone I know made me crazy 2 weeks ago because I was being overly emotional and taking things too personally? Definitely not.

I have been reminded over the last few months that what I think in the moment is important is not necessarily what truly matters.  It turns out, the second my phone rings and I recognize that number as that stupid phone with the 3-second delay, none of it matters.  Not one single detail out of my very mundane everyday routine matters.  What matters is hearing his voice on the other end, and knowing that for another day he is good.  What matters is him knowing that I can handle it- whatever it is at the moment.  


I keep a list of things that I need to talk to Randy about, because sometimes, (who am I kidding- EVERY time) I am so excited to talk to him, I completely forget the list.  So I keep a post it note stuck to my phone until I hear from him.  On more than one occasion, I look at the list, and toss it aside.  


Because it just doesn't matter.  None of it is important.  


There are hundreds of things that will happen during this deployment that just don't rate being in my 30 minute phone call.  Maybe I will remember to write them down in a letter or 2 that I send, maybe I won't. (The letters usually are only the good things anyway- there's no point in him reading about something "bad" that happened 2 weeks ago- or longer!)


I think my point in the midst of this rambling is that I hope that once Randy comes home, I continue to stop and think about what actually matters.  I get mad and irritated about silly things, and take it out on him.  I hope that once he is home, I can better learn to control those things, and remember how precious each second is that I have with him, and have him in front of me.  


30 minutes once a week isn't a whole lot of time.  Somehow though, during a deployment, it just has to be enough.