Its coming. I can't stop it. And it sure as hell isn't getting any easier.
Our unit's advanced party has left- so that means its really real. We got mailing addresses today- so that means its not going away either.
I'm sitting here on the couch next to my husband, watching Toy Story. And it just sucks. All that I keep thinking is that this will be the last time that XYZ happens until he comes home. I get that I'm supposed to think positive, and not dwell on the negative, but at this point, I just can't.
The last 2 weekends in a row we have had family and friends in town to say "see you later" before the deployment. It's just a constant reminder of whats about to happen. I try to stay happy and positive during these visits. I do manage that. But once everyone goes- forget it. I'm a mess all over again.
One last visit with my parents. One last wrestling match with the dog. One last visit with his mom. UGH! It all just makes me want to scream. (Here I go again- no pity necessary- again, I'm right where I should be on the "Deployment Cycle of Emotions")
At this point, its getting hard to look beyond the flight window too. Its like anything past this month just doesn't even exist. I'm trying to focus on everything that will happen afterwards..... but I just can't. I have so many fun things planned to keep my mind off of deployment, but right now they are all just so.... blah.
I'm jealous of everyone whose lives will continue on as normal on March 1st. There is a big giant pause button over my head, and it won't go away.
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