7 months

SEVEN MONTHS DOWN!!

Ok kids, we are in the home stretch!!!

I can count on ONE HAND the number of weeks that stand between me and this guy:

That's a big freaking deal, if you didn't know that.  


Month SEVEN highlights:

-I did some gardening.  Much to my surprise, out of the 26 mums that I planted, I believe I have only lost one- and I'm blaming that one on the lawn people that come in weekly- I'm pretty sure they trampled all over it.  Oh well.  

-We booked our post-deployment cruise! 5 days to the Bahamas sounds pretty good in January! 85 days and counting....

-We had a flea issue.  Grrrr.  Still not thrilled with that little episode, and I really wish I would have known it was a problem in North Carolina regardless of the treatment you have been using on your pets for 6 years... but it's under control now and we are flea-free.  Once again, Randy is away when there is furbaby drama!

-Our 6th anniversary!  This is about as good as it gets for a picture together when the boy is deployed-

-Plenty of FaceTime! The boy is currently hanging out in Rota, Spain.  He is off the boat for a while, and in his own room with WiFi.  It has been a really nice way to end this deployment- but it does make me miss him that much more each time we hang up.  

-Homecoming outfit found, and ball dress purchased!  I am feeling WAY ahead of the game this time!!

Next stop- 8 months complete, and HOMECOMING!!!


 

Life Changing

It's amazing how one moment can change your life.

(I know, it sounds very profound and deep.)

9 years ago today, (seriously?? nine?) Randy returned home from his very first deployment, and one moment essentially changed my life.

I remember every single detail about this day, and I honestly hope I never forget.  I remember the drive down to North Carolina, and the excited energy, the constant chatter to stay awake, the VERY early morning breakfast on the road, me getting changed in the Burger King bathroom on base, and then not-so-patiently waiting and reading a book in the rental car.

I remember a Marine wife passing out tiny yellow ribbons for us all to wear.  

I remember the screams of delight as the buses drove towards us... then away from us to make a stop at the armory... then towards us again... and past us when they missed the entrance to the parking lot.

I remember seeing one smiling face through the dark tinted windows of those glorious buses.  

Then, this.

I immediately knew I was right where I belonged.

For better or worse, this one moment- this one hug- has defined who I am, and who I have become over the last 9 years.  It has taken me on a journey that I had never even considered, but somehow is exactly the journey I am meant to be on.  

200 days

200 days.

6 months, 16 days.

28 weeks, 4 days.

4,800 hours.

Essentially- a long freaking time.



In the last 200 days I have:

-Redecorated my living room

-purchased an iPhone

-survived Easter with a stomach bug

-flew to California

-traveled home to Pennsylvania twice

-decided to move to North Carolina

-successfully completed a solo PCS move in the middle of a deployment with 2 cats, a dog, and my mommy.

-lost 15 lbs (I still have 5 freaking more to go.)

-saved enough money so I could be unemployed and incredibly bored until a good job comes along

-Unpacked 136 boxes in the new house.  (I left the one labeled "Hats" for the boy to take care of.)

-Exchanged lots of emails, letters, packages, and pictures with my guy, and received many calls from an "unknown" caller.  

It has been a long 200 days.  Not as long as past deployments- I've said it before, but this non-combat deployment aspect makes a HUGE difference on my stress levels- but still long enough that I can feel myself slowly going crazy with anticipation.  I am very ready for this deployment to be over- mostly so I can see if my husband and I are actually capable of living under the same roof again.  After 3 years of doing the geo-bachelor thing- we are taking bets on how long before we both get sick of each other!

I am ready for him to be home to see where he lives- I sort of feel bad that at the moment, he needs directions to get to his own house.  I am ready for him to see his dog.  I am ready for him to take out the trash, walk the dog, clean up the kitchen after I cook dinner, help me with laundry, help me with cleaning... the list goes on and on.

I am just ready for us to be a team again.  I am exhausted, and really ready to hand off some responsibilities.  As easy as I make it seem as I manage every aspect of both of our lives, I'm tired.  I'm ready for him to make me crazy because he seems like he's not listening- then repeats every word back verbatim when I yell at him about not listening.  

In a few days, it will be October.  Then I will finally be able to say that my guy will be home NEXT month!

 

 

6 months

I'm going to be honest.

I'm bitter and cranky.  I am not so happy about the 6 month mark this time around.

Let me explain.

For the last 4 deployments, 6 months down would mean leave dates, mail cutoff dates, and some sort of beginning of hints of return dates.  At this point, we would be a handful of weeks away from homecoming.

And now I still have two freaking months left.  It doesn't sound like a lot- especially because at this point, 6 months is a pretty decent chunk of time- but right now it feels like a lifetime.  Especially with everything happening in the world right now- I just want my guy home.  Now.  

BUT- at the end of the day, we are 6 months closer to homecoming- so I will try to stay focused on that.

I'm still bitter though.

anyway....

Highlights of month 6:

- road trip to Florida for our cousin's wedding!  We had a fantastic time playing tourist, and of course seeing family.  I got to spend a lot of time with Emma- so it was definitely worth it.  Next time though, I need to factor in the next day drive when I am drinking and dancing the night away!

 

-I completed 250 sit ups a day for the entire month of August.  This was to help raise money and awareness for my favorite organization- Hope for the Warriors.  In total, I did 7,750 sit ups.  For someone who does not work out, I am pretty proud of myself! (I am also working on another guest blog for Hope for the Warriors- so stay tuned for that!)

-Day trips, beach time, and dinner dates with friends- I am still so happy to be back!

-I UNPACKED THE LAST BOX!!! 41 days after our household goods were delivered- the last box was unpacked, and everything inside was put away.  I'm also just about done decorating and organizing the house overall- I just need to pick up a rug for the dining room, and a TV stand for the boy's "man cave".  

-FaceTime!  The boy was FINALLY in port- so we were able to chat, and he was actually able to take a tour of the house.  Have I mentioned lately how grateful I am for technology??

I also got a lead on a job, but the downside is, the company is still waiting to hear if the contract is approved, so I am also waiting... In about a month though I should know either way what's going on.  Good thoughts and positive vibes are appreciated- not just for me, but that the contract is approved!!

Whew- it was a busy month.  I am glad to see it go though.  I am continuing to focus on the positive as much as I can... and hopefully my bitterness will go away soon.  

Stay tuned!

5 Months Down and the Big MOVE!

It has been a crazy last couple weeks- so crazy that I am about a week late with my "month five in review" post.  I am still settling into life in North Carolina- but I am just so incredibly happy to be back.  Every day I wake up and I still feel so confident about this decision- and so thankful for everyone who helped make this move easy and stress free!

So, August 6th marked 5 months down in deployment number 5. I'm still not sure how much time we actually have left- and I of course am thinking worst case... because well, I've been doing this long enough and I know better to believe anything until the boy is standing in front of me.  We shall see.

Month 5 highlights:

     -Lots and lots of "see you laters".  Not really a highlight- because I HATE this part of the military life- and I suck at it!

     -My last day of work at the Marine Corps Heritage Foundation.  So bittersweet- but I am so proud of all that I accomplished and learned during my time there, and incredibly thankful for the people I met.  

     -The big move.  Holy moly- was that stressful!  It turns out that PCS-ing is stressful, but then to throw a deployment on top of that, plus moving 2 cats and a dog for the first time- all I have to say is God bless my mother for volunteering for that crazy mission.  I'm sure she never really thought she would share a hotel room with her daughter, grand-dog, and grand-cats.  It was interesting- but I have some pretty awesome furbabies who handled the move better than I could have ever dreamed.  They are completely adjusted to life in North Carolina- and really loving having a bit more space to roam around.  

All in all, month five was jam-packed.  The move took exactly one week- and while it was stressful, I know that I am incredibly lucky that I got a door-to-door move, and all of my stuff arrived safely and in one piece.  I seriously had the best movers EVER- who went so far above and beyond to make this easy on me.  The second I told them my husband was deployed, I really felt like they took care of me even more- from taking my live plant on the truck with them, to delivering my stuff at night and staying pretty late to make sure everything was placed where I needed it.  I could not have had a better group of guys!

And while my movers were awesome- my friends were even better.  The second the moving truck pulled up, I was handed a glass of wine.  They brought dinner, and more wine- and made sure that I had everything I needed.  I am still amazed with how many friends offered to come help me unpack and get settled- I love you ALL!!!

Now that I am settled, I am already getting restless- so now starts the job search!

Halfway... and Halfway?

Shew... this picture kinda takes my breath away.

Yesterday, July 6, was the 4 month mark in this deployment.  Which... hopefully... is the halfway mark. (But I'm not holding my breath- it seems that the world is just on the brink of something- and I am none too thrilled about it!)

Today, July 7, means that Randy has been in the Marine Corps for 10 years.  

10 years down- 10 years to go.  

Double. freaking. digits.  

How in the WORLD did that happen?  I've had conversations with girls whose husbands have been in for 2 years.  I remember when we were in for 2 years!  That was just yesterday wasn't it?  I remember talking to wives whose husbands had been in for 10 years.  They were OLD, weren't they?!

But then I remember:

     -5 deployments
     
     -4 homecoming hugs (waiting for number 5!)
     
      -3 PCS moves
     
      -A wedding planned in the middle of deployment number 3 
     
     -A geo-bachelor duty station (finally coming to an end!)

     -3 sweet furbabies

And enough friendships, experiences, fabulous trips, tears, and lessons learned to last a lifetime.  

And yet... that's only the first 10 years.  It has been quite a ride, and I am so excited to see what the second half will bring us.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This past month has been a bit emotionally exhausting.  As usual for this deployment though, it really had nothing to do with the actual deployment.  It turns out that the right decisions are usually the hardest to make, and this month I made a right decision.  I am moving back to North Carolina. 

I'm slightly terrified... but overwhelmingly excited.  As are all my friends and family- who have been incredibly supportive, which made me feel so much better about everything.  I have been in Stafford for 6 years now- so making this decision to move smack in the middle of a deployment and leave all that is known and stable was a bit of a crazy move on my part.  But my gut- and my heart- are telling me it's the right thing, so here we go!  I apologize in advance for those that might already be sick of the pictures and posts concerning the move- but since Randy is out of the loop these days, I will be documenting this as much as I can so he doesn't feel completely left out.  Although- I think secretly he is happy he is on a boat and doesn't have to help me move.  Ha!

Month 4 highlights:

     -decisions made!  Whew- what a relief!  The plan going forward is to move to NC, then wait for orders.  We are still hoping to go recruiting next summer, so there is a strong possibility I will be in NC for less than a year!

     -Road trip home to PA.  Lots of time spent with Randy's family- which was fantastic.  It is so nice to be welcomed with open arms- even with the boy halfway around the world.  I also got to snuggle my sweet little niece- who is all smiles- all the time!

     -Housing chosen, move arranged.  (In 2 days- which I do believe is a USMC miracle of sorts!)

     -Randy got a new job!! I am super proud of him and so excited- this is definitely a long time coming, and so well deserved.  He is now the CAAT 2 section leader- whatever that means.  I do know that he is excited, and learning a lot himself.  He is responsible for Marines again- which is all he really wants!

Whew- it's been a pretty busy first half of this deployment.  Month number 5 will certainly fly by- and I am really looking forward to that!  

Now I can officially say that we have MORE time behind us than in front of us- now THAT is a great feeling!!




 

A Leap of Faith and a Big Decision

I am a planner.

I am logical and organized.  

I research, and carefully plan my next step... then I over-analyze and doubt my decision.

But this time, for some reason, I'm not doubting this decision.  I am taking a huge leap of faith, a shot in the dark... whatever cliche' is appropriate.

In just about 3 weeks, I am moving back to North Carolina. 

My trip to California 2 months ago made me realize that I am just not happy right now.  I tried everything to break myself out of my funk, but nothing worked.  I felt stuck, trapped, and I needed to find a new direction.

When Randy and I made the decision to do this geo-bachelor thing we've been rocking for close to 3 years, it was because I was happy here.  It made sense for me to stay, because I loved my job, had a great support system, and back to back deployments were looming on the horizon.  

But then a lot of things happened all at once, and my next steps became crystal clear.  I needed to do something quickly so that I could be happy again.  I did some research, made some phone calls, had many conversations with my closest family and friends, and cried.  A lot.  

The more I talked, and the more I cried, the quicker I realized that I was absolutely, positively making the best decision for me at this point in my life. Like I said last month, and as I've been told- it's hard to find happiness during deployments.  This decision will allow me to find some happiness.

Luckily, because we've had great communication during this deployment, I was able to talk this all over with Randy- on the phone- like practically normal people do.  He has been incredibly supportive, and has done SO MUCH to help me make this move- and he's done it all from the middle of who knows where with a crappy phone connection.  He got special powers of attorney at a moment's notice, he called base housing, and the transportation office, and got everything filled out and taken care of so all I needed to do was sign and fax some paperwork.  

That just confirmed this all in my mind even more- it has been SO easy.  I thought it would be next to impossible to arrange a move 3 years after we were actually supposed to use it, then get a house on base.  But both things happened and were official and taken care of within 2 days of me signing the papers.  In the military- things just don't move that quickly.   

It is my sign.

My sister told me this is very unlike me- it sounds much more like something she would do.  It's a big risk... because I am giving up a job that I enjoyed... but the risk right now to me is so worth it.  Once I made this decision and told Randy, he was so excited to know that I would be down there in a house with his dog when he got home from this deployment.  We have both sacrificed a lot in the last 3 years to make this work- mostly for me.  He has been amazing- and allowed me to stay and work because he knew it would make me happy.  Now it's my turn to make a sacrifice for him.

So, on July 18th, I will allow a bunch of strangers to come into our house and pack all of our worldly possessions.  I will watch them load our stuff onto a truck a few days later.  Then, with the help of my fabulously awesome parents, I will pack 3 cars with 2 cats, a dog, and the stuff the movers rejected, and attempt a PCS move in the middle of a deployment on my own.  

I must be insane.  Truly.  But I am so excited for what's to come.  Stay tuned... it will be an interesting ride.

3 months down and a day late

Now I'm 2 days late.

Oh well.

Month three has been completely uneventful and very unexciting.

That's probably why I felt like the month of May was never ending. On the flip side- I already feel like June is FLYING by.  That is ok by me!

I spent a lot of time by myself- and I am ok with that.  It gave me a lot of time to think- which again was ok.  It led me to a major revelation- some of which I blame on my fantastic trip to California to visit some of our closest friends.  

 

Coming back from California made me realize that I might not be as happy where I am as I could be at this moment in my life.  It's hard to find happiness during deployment- and many years ago, right before we kicked off deployment number 3, I was reminded that you are miserable enough while they are deployed- so you need to make choices and do things that will make you as happy as you can be.  

So- with that in mind- I am starting to make changes that will make me happy right now.  I'm taking bigger risks- although "risky" for me right now is buying a loveseat from a website that's a final sale.... but for me, that's a pretty big risk.  I'm speaking up for myself and saying no to more things.  I'm getting stuck in a rut, and I just don't want to be.  I'm choosing to do things that will make me happy now- hopefully these choices will ultimately make my family happy in the long term.

The next couple months will be a bit more challenging- in that we have some long stretches where I will not hear from the boy.  Since I've talked to him every single day since he has left, this will be a bit of an adjustment for us both, but I will take a couple weeks of not hearing from him and knowing that he is safe versus what we have experienced in the past: months of fear with no communication during the height of fighting season in Iraq.  I will certainly miss our daily chats, but we will be ok. 

I'm excited for what the next few months will hold- and looking forward to making choices that will make ME happy.  

Stay tuned!

2013- Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Today, May 10, 2013, is Military Spouse Appreciation Day.

 

 

 You can read my 2011 post here.

When I agreed to move to North Carolina with Randy in 2005, I really had no idea what to expect.  I was moving to a different state, I knew nobody, and he was leaving in 6 weeks for his second deployment to Iraq.  The spouses I met just a few days later welcomed me with open arms- and taught me everything I know about being a military spouse.  

I watched them as we all struggled with a difficult deployment that affected us all deeply.  I watched them cook meals, fly to funerals to comfort friends, run meetings, calm our fears, and answer our questions.  They did all this while their own spouses were deployed.  They were just as afraid as the rest of us- but I would have never known that.  They handled everything thrown at them with such grace, courage, and strength, and I have done my best to model myself after what I saw from them.  

They taught me so much- and continue to teach me.  It is an honor to be amongst their ranks- and to be a part of this amazing community.  I am thankful every single day- and so appreciative for the amazing examples I had early on.  

I have now been a military spouse for over 5 years.  There are good days, bad days, and the best days ever- but every day I know that I do not walk alone.  I am surrounded by some of the strongest women I have ever had the privilege of knowing- let alone calling my friends, my sisters.  I am only as strong as those that support me- and I am incredibly lucky to be completely surrounded by some of the strongest women I know.  

They are the ones that answer my calls at 2 am, drive to comfort me when I just need a friend, put their own needs on the back burner to take care of a neighbor's kid, volunteer way too much, move to a different state the moment orders are issued, and still manage to smile and laugh and enjoy everything that life throws at us.  

So- to my fellow milspouses- Thank You.  Thank you for all YOU do to support our fighting men and women.  Thank you for all you do to support your fellow spouses.  Without you, I would not be where I am, or who I am for that matter.  

I am eternally grateful to each and every one of you.  

Month 2 is in the books!

As of about 7:00 this morning, we officially put month 2 in the books.

I could not be happier.  

This month has been challenging for me, and for once, it really has nothing to do with the deployment.  (Alright, maybe it does- if the boy were around, I think maybe I would have handled things better- differently? who knows.)

The boy is still floating around in the middle of who knows where.  I am still hearing from him regularly, which is such an amazing gift.  I have moments where I feel guilty that I have talked to my husband practically every day since he left, but then I remind myself that we have paid our dues.  In past deployments, we have gone months with no communication, so I am thanking my lucky stars for this gift we have this time around. 

I just got home from my week long trip to California, which was definitely the bright spot for month 2.  It was amazing to be able to spend a week surrounded by some of my closest friends- who truly are my family- when I desperately needed to be reminded what family truly was.  

My big grown up realization this month was that maybe family isn't what we are born into.  It turns out the family we are born with can stab you in the back and say hateful, terrible things just as easily as a stranger can.  The family that Randy and I have created for ourselves- our great, big, wonderful, chaotic Marine Corps Family- will always be there when we need them.   

Month 2 highlights:

     -A flower delivery at work.  Apparently the boy has been a bit of a slacker in the letter writing department- his words not mine!- and felt bad.  I love flowers for no reason!

     -Turning 29 plus 2.....  despite being slightly sad about my age, I really had a fantastic day.

 

     -My car was rear ended AGAIN.  This is the third time this has happened since we have moved to NOVA.  But- it was taken care of while I was in California, and was able to pick up my car this morning.  I handled it.  :)

     -I kicked off my deployment weight loss journey... which was completely sidelined by my trip west... whoops.  I started again today, so we shall see!

     -My trip to California!! We were busy! Wine tasting, cupcakes, seals in La Jolla, a fabulous pre-birthday dinner in Coronado, and just lots of time with friends.  

     -Decisions were made, and deadlines were created.  The boy and I have some big choices to make in the upcoming months... mostly concerning our next step in the Marine Corps.  He also FINALLY made a decision about the motorcycle he wants... which, according to him, was the most stressful thing for him this deployment.  (Seems strange, but this is our new deployment reality, and I will take it!)


All in all, this was another quick month.  I am hoping that this coming month will be less stressful, and that I will be able to focus on the positive.

Oh... and one more thing!  A book was written and recently published that gives an account of Randy's first deployment in Fallujah, Iraq in 2004.  It was an awesome read- definitely hard for me at times, but gave me a much better understanding of what transpired during our very first deployment.  Be sure to check it out!  The website is: http://www.memoirsofanoutlaw.com/. 

Hope For the Warriors

About a month ago, I was asked to write a guest blog for a fantastic organization, Hope for the Warriors.  

I have been involved in this organization practically since it was created.  While my role has always been tiny compared to what these amazing Marine wives have been able to accomplish, it is an organization that I absolutely adore, will always support, and will forever be in my heart.  

It was truly an honor to be able to contribute something that would potentially help other spouses and caregivers.  Again, while my contribution was tiny, I hope that by telling our story, I was able to help someone, somewhere.  I hope that I was able to give another spouse the courage to realize it is OK to ask for help.  I hope that I was able to give a Marine the courage to realize that maybe what they are feeling is "normal" in our world.  I hope that I gave a fellow military family the strength to step forward and deal with what they are feeling.  

In case you missed it, here is the link to my guest blog.  Please share- the more we talk about PTSD and what our servicemembers have dealt with, the more we are able to make the stigma go away.

http://hopeforthewarriors.blogspot.com/2013/03/dealing-with-ptsd-and-deployments.html

One Month Down!

Today, April 6th, means we are officially ONE month down in this deployment!!!!

Whew!!!  It's been a busy month- and went by much faster than I thought it would.  Usually (for me) the first month is the longest and the hardest.  But this time around, time is flying.... and I am definitely NOT complaining!

After 4 combat deployments, this MEU deployment stuff is pretty easy.  Now, I am not trying to take away from anyone who might be having a rough time with this type of deployment, but for me, I would take this any day.  I keep telling Randy that they need to come up with a different word for this- because this is NOT my definition of a deployment!! It is a welcome change for me to actually be able to sleep soundly at night, and not have a constant pit in my stomach.  I can actually take a deep breath- and go about my day to day routine and not feel guilty about getting to enjoy my life.  I can actually smile, and laugh, and have fun- and not feel like I have someone sitting on my chest.  

I'm actually really jealous of the boy- he got to spend 4 days in Cyprus, and I actually got to see some sights and sounds and food there as well- thanks to technology.  (My iPhone is now my new best friend!)  I am completely thrilled that he can actually relax and enjoy himself- and see the world, like he was promised almost 10 years ago when he enlisted in the Marine Corps.  He deserves this- he deserves to kick back at a bar in Cyprus, and laugh and have a good time.  I am incredibly happy that he gets these opportunities- and it doesn't hurt that he is buying me pretty things too!

In no particular order, my month one highlights:

     -My iPhone.  I am seriously in love, and incredibly thankful that I got the phone when I did.  Communication with the boy is SO much easier- however he tries to get a hold of me, I can instantly answer back!

     -I redecorated my living room.  No idea where this came from- I woke up one morning and just decided I was sick of EVERYTHING.  Thankfully, I had houseguests that could help me with the "man" stuff:

best houseguests ever! :)

 

     -I got to drive home in the worst snowstorm Northern VA had gotten all winter.  This was of course on deployment day, when I was functioning on 4 hours of sleep tops.  Super fun.  But 4 wheel drive, new tires, and my kick ass PA driving skills definitely saved the day.  I probably won't do that again any time soon though.  Really not much fun at all!

     -Easter 2013.  The year the Sedlak family ALL got the stomach bug.  Sharing means caring right??

     -I got to snuggle cute babies:

TJ

Cora

 

 

 

 

Emma and Auntie :)

 All in all, it was a pretty decent first month.  I am hoping that communication with the boy continues to stay pretty consistent, and that he continues to enjoy himself and stay busy.  I am already starting to plan my weekends for May, and I am working on finalizing the details for my trip to California.  I am busy, relaxed, and taking it one day at a time.  You can't ask for much more than that!

This is hard.

Deployment Day number 5 is way too close for comfort.  Right now, the number of days we have left before d-day can be counted on less than 2 hands.  And I hate it.  I also hate just about everyone and everything too right now, so I apologize to those that might be catching the brunt of my bad attitude.  

It's hard to remain cheerful and try to appreciate what people are saying.  I do appreciate the kind words... but there's not really anything that can make me feel better right now.  I know that it will get better... I get to that point each and every time, but right now, I am bitter and angry. (And not so secretly hoping this sequester will cancel the deployment altogether. [I also know that is wishful thinking.])

I have cried to the point where I have bruises under my eyes... to go along with the fabulous dark circles from lack of sleep.  I'm wishing that we would have gotten out of the Marine Corps in October... I am wishing that he never joined the Marine Corps period.

This is HARD.  There is no easy way around it.  I keep reminding myself that this is not a combat deployment, but at the moment it honestly doesn't make me feel better.  I might not worry about my husband for every waking second for the next 8 months, but I sure as hell am going to miss him.  I hate knowing that I am going to have to watch him say goodbye to the "kids", and that none of them are really going to understand where he's going.  I know that Mocha will pace and whine and cry because she sees Daddy's truck, but doesn't see Daddy.  And that will absolutely break my heart.  

Right now, 8 months seems like a lifetime, and it hurts to think that I really have to spend that much time away from my husband.  I'm having a really hard time at the moment finding the good, the positive, and the light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm hoping that by this time next week, I will be feeling a bit more optimistic and ready to conquer whatever deployment number 5 will throw at me, whether it is sink monsters or surgery for the dog.

It will get better, and before I know it, 8 months will be 7... and I can do 7 months in my sleep. 

The In Between

Ugh.  I think this is my least favorite part about the deployment cycle... the weird limbo in between thing we are experiencing right now.

Randy got back yesterday after a month long training.  We have a handful of weeks left until he is gone for 8 months.

And it sucks.

I am at the point where I just want him gone already- because any military wife will tell you- the sooner they leave, the sooner they get back home.  I am, at this point, desperate to start the countdown.  I am sick of this looming sense of doom... because that is what I am dealing with now.

I want to be happy that my husband is home, and we get to spend a long weekend together, but at the same time... I'm afraid to allow myself to get too comfortable in having him home again- because I know it is short lived.  I know that in just a few weeks, I am on my own again for the long haul.  

It's hard to balance preparing myself for deployment, and enjoying the last few days I have left with my guy.  It's just a sucky feeling.  

I used to intentionally pick fights with him, and distance myself from him... because somehow in my mind, that would make it easier when he actually left if I was mad at him for whatever stupid thing I had created in my head.  I've learned that that's not really the best way to handle things, and I make an effort to NOT do that- and just do my very best to enjoy the time we have given.  

The pit in my stomach is there- although I don't think it's as big as it usually is at this point before he leaves.  It makes a huge difference knowing that this is not a combat deployment (at least not yet.)  I actually had a twinge of jealousy the other day when he was rattling off the list of places he will be going- that is definitely something new in relation to deployments.  

Some of these feelings are definitely new- but the suck factor is still the same.  I still have to say see you later, and I still have to get in my car and drive home to an empty house.  I'll allow myself to wallow in self-pity for a day or so, then I will snap myself out of it and move on with my life.   

Until that day comes though, I will try my hardest to make the best of the in between... and I will remember that each day- good, bad, indifferent- will bring me closer to the big goal- homecoming.

Deployment Goals 2013

Well, it's time.

Well, almost.

I saw a movie commercial on TV tonight, and I got really angry when I realized how close we are getting to D-day.  But there isn't a single thing I can do to stop the clock... which for us is both a good thing and a bad thing.  

Believe me, I hate that my husband is leaving again, and that this deployment will be a little bit longer than the rest.  But I am also excited to tackle some new goals, and get myself (and the brat) back into a routine.  

So, here are my deployment goals for round 5:

1.  Save money.  
      
     I feel like this is always a big one for military families during deployments.  We have some pretty specific savings goals this time around- namely a motorcycle for the boy, a cruise to celebrate for us, and just padding our savings a bit.  We will also be coming up on a PCS move soon after he gets home, so that means a bit of job insecurity for me. We are also going to be done paying for the truck in the spring as well, so we will be able to be car payment free- I am ridiculously excited about that.  (I don't recommend to ANYONE getting 2 brand new cars within a year of each other.  Not our smartest move!)

2. Lose weight.
     This is also another typical one for us military wives.  I'm pretty good at losing the weight while the boy is gone- not totally sure why... but I always manage to gain it all back when he gets home.  So my goal is to not only lose weight (I'm aiming for about 20lbs) but to keep it off once he gets home.

3. Have something to look forward to each month.
      Woo!! Travel! A girl's best friend during deployment.  This will be my way of staying busy- and making time pass as quickly as possible.  I am already planning on heading home for Easter, so that takes care of March, and then I will be heading to California in April or May... I haven't quite decided yet.  I'm trying to plan out as far in advance as I can.  I am a planner after all.  It helps when I see everything written out- I like having full weekends with stuff to do and look forward to.  It also gives me something to write to the boy about. So, if anyone would like a visitor, or needs someone to visit in the DC area... give me a shout!

4. Stay positive.
     
     This one might be hard.  Because deployments are hard.  They, unfortunately, don't get easier.  Distance sucks- but I will try my best to focus on the positive and remember that it could always be worse.  It could definitely be worse- this one is not a combat deployment! (yet!) Yay!

5.  Get into a routine again.

     I am a creature of habit, and I have been completely off my game the last few weeks.  Strangely enough, I think I am just ready for this deployment to start, so I can get into the swing of things and just DO THIS.  I am already sick of the waiting game... waiting for him to come home for a little bit longer, only to turn around again and leave for good.  No fun at all.  I need to get myself into a routine- getting up, working out/walking the dog, going to work, etc.  I'll get there... in a few more weeks.

So there they are.  Deployment Goals 2013.  I'm pretty confident that I will be successful... I've done it before, and I plan on kicking ass!

  
       

A Weekend Away

Just like last deployment, one of my goals is to have one fun thing to look forward to each month.  It doesn't matter how small (like a pedicure), or how big (a week long trip to Cali)- I am going to stay busy!

Even though the boy is only away training, I still wanted to do my best to keep busy while he was away.  Lucky for me, one of my closest and oldest friends is pregnant with twins- so  I got to head home this past weekend for her baby shower.  

Now, for those that know me- bridal showers and baby showers don't necessarily rank very high on my list of favorite things.  But when it means that I get to see some of my favorite ladies... I am all about it.

 It was so wonderful to be able to spend even a little bit of time with my "sisters".  We don't get to see each other as often as I would like, and I miss them terribly.  I was reminded again though what an amazing support system I have- each of these ladies has a LOT on their plate- but they were quick to ask how I was doing, and how the boy was doing.  I can't tell you how much that meant to me.


I also got to show off my crafty side... I made some diaper cakes for the shower.  (I'm really quite proud of how these turned out- I surprised myself!)

 My favorite part of the weekend though was getting to spend time with my sister and my sweet little niece.  Emma is 8 weeks old now, and she's already changed so much since I saw her at Christmas.  I was happy (for selfish reasons) that my sister and niece were at home all weekend.  It's rare that I get to spend that much time with my sister- and when we were getting ready for the shower, I felt like I was in high school again, as she was bugging me to borrow my makeup and some random hair products I brought with me. It was actually pretty fun!

I got to snuggle a lot with this little lady:

 
And I loved every second of it.  Having Emma around now definitely makes it harder to leave PA.... I wish I was much much closer to home so I could see her every day.  (I'm secretly still hoping for orders close to home once this deployment is behind us.)

So, Mission Stay Busy was a success for the month of training.  Stay tuned for more deployment adventures.... anybody want to come visit?? I make a GREAT tour guide!! :)

Murphy's Law- Marine Corps style!

Murphy's Law- anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Military Wives Murphy's Law- anything that can go wrong will only go wrong the second he leaves for training, or deployment, or is completely unreachable by conventional means of communication.

It is bound to happen.

And honestly, after almost 9 years in the Marine Corps lifestyle, I pretty much expect it.
 
Sometimes, it is something major, like a dog needing surgery.

Sometimes it is completely ridiculous, like a sink monster jumping out from underneath the coffee cup in the sink.  

But it will always be something that you know wouldn't have happened if your husband were home.  

Which is exactly what I was thinking Saturday night.

I am pretty sure that if the boy had not been floating around somewhere of the coast of VA, then I probably wouldn't have had to take a fun filled trip to the ER.

Each time that Military Wives Murphy's Law sneaks up on me, I am reminded of something  very important:

I can handle it.

If it is thrown in my face, knocks me off balance, catches me off guard- it doesn't really matter.  I can handle it.

So, when stomach pains were keeping me awake and very uncomfortable at 3 am, I knew I could and would handle it.  I hopped in the car, and checked myself in.  I felt a little bit sorry for myself- but that was my own fault.  I was yelled at by just about all of my co-workers on Monday morning when they found out I was there by myself.  I was reminded (again, because I am stubborn) that it is ok to ask for help, and it is ok to call people at 3 am if you are in the emergency room.

The moral of the story: Something is bound to go wrong.  And it will seem like the end of the world, because I know that it would be so much easier if my level-headed husband were home.  But he isn't- and that's not anybody's fault.  He is doing his job, and I must do mine.  My job is to take care of it- and handle it.

Saturday night was just a reminder of Murphy's Law- and I handled it!