A Leap of Faith and a Big Decision

I am a planner.

I am logical and organized.  

I research, and carefully plan my next step... then I over-analyze and doubt my decision.

But this time, for some reason, I'm not doubting this decision.  I am taking a huge leap of faith, a shot in the dark... whatever cliche' is appropriate.

In just about 3 weeks, I am moving back to North Carolina. 

My trip to California 2 months ago made me realize that I am just not happy right now.  I tried everything to break myself out of my funk, but nothing worked.  I felt stuck, trapped, and I needed to find a new direction.

When Randy and I made the decision to do this geo-bachelor thing we've been rocking for close to 3 years, it was because I was happy here.  It made sense for me to stay, because I loved my job, had a great support system, and back to back deployments were looming on the horizon.  

But then a lot of things happened all at once, and my next steps became crystal clear.  I needed to do something quickly so that I could be happy again.  I did some research, made some phone calls, had many conversations with my closest family and friends, and cried.  A lot.  

The more I talked, and the more I cried, the quicker I realized that I was absolutely, positively making the best decision for me at this point in my life. Like I said last month, and as I've been told- it's hard to find happiness during deployments.  This decision will allow me to find some happiness.

Luckily, because we've had great communication during this deployment, I was able to talk this all over with Randy- on the phone- like practically normal people do.  He has been incredibly supportive, and has done SO MUCH to help me make this move- and he's done it all from the middle of who knows where with a crappy phone connection.  He got special powers of attorney at a moment's notice, he called base housing, and the transportation office, and got everything filled out and taken care of so all I needed to do was sign and fax some paperwork.  

That just confirmed this all in my mind even more- it has been SO easy.  I thought it would be next to impossible to arrange a move 3 years after we were actually supposed to use it, then get a house on base.  But both things happened and were official and taken care of within 2 days of me signing the papers.  In the military- things just don't move that quickly.   

It is my sign.

My sister told me this is very unlike me- it sounds much more like something she would do.  It's a big risk... because I am giving up a job that I enjoyed... but the risk right now to me is so worth it.  Once I made this decision and told Randy, he was so excited to know that I would be down there in a house with his dog when he got home from this deployment.  We have both sacrificed a lot in the last 3 years to make this work- mostly for me.  He has been amazing- and allowed me to stay and work because he knew it would make me happy.  Now it's my turn to make a sacrifice for him.

So, on July 18th, I will allow a bunch of strangers to come into our house and pack all of our worldly possessions.  I will watch them load our stuff onto a truck a few days later.  Then, with the help of my fabulously awesome parents, I will pack 3 cars with 2 cats, a dog, and the stuff the movers rejected, and attempt a PCS move in the middle of a deployment on my own.  

I must be insane.  Truly.  But I am so excited for what's to come.  Stay tuned... it will be an interesting ride.