Dear Deployment: You still suck!

Yesterday I got my hair cut.  

Sounds like a simple, straightforward, relaxing way to spend a Saturday right?

It was... until those pesky deployment demons snuck up right at the end and kicked me in the gut.  

I was asked to schedule my next appointment... and the date they gave me was one measly week before the boy leaves.

Hearing that... and coming to the realization that the number of weeks that stand between me and deployment number 5 can be counted on 2 hands sent me right into meltdown mode.  I did, thankfully, manage to make it out of the salon and into my car before I lost it.

UGH. 

The thing is, I knew they were going to ask that question, and I knew what the date would be.  But to actually hear that out loud was a huge reality check, and I did not like it one bit.  

It turns out, my heart has yet to realize there is a difference between this deployment and the last 4.  This one so far is a non-combat deployment, so the realities are a lot different.  My head has realized this... but I am not sure at what point the hurt will be different.... and I really don't think it will.  

My husband will still be leaving for 8 plus months.  

We will still be apart.

I still have to stand there and watch him get on a bus and drive away from me.

I still have to keep everything going on my own.

I am still going to have to find ways to make the time pass as quickly as possible.

The only difference I've found is that this time I might actually be a bit jealous of some of the locations the boy gets to visit.  (That is obviously something new- I can safely say I've never been jealous of the time he spent in Iraq or Afghanistan.)

Bottom line is, deployments still suck, regardless of the combat or non-combat nature.  As much as I keep trying to put on my big girl panties, it still hurts knowing that I only have a handful of weeks left before he is gone for good.  And for more than half of those weeks, he will be away training.  Which sucks even more.  

But- it is what it is.  It's my turn- and we all have to take a turn.  This too shall pass... and hopefully soon after he comes in the fall, we will be on our way somewhere new... together.  

And that will make it all worth it.