Well, now that I've put a huge part of my personal life out there for anyone to read, a lot of people might be wondering why I did that, and what the point is.
My point is this- as the wife of someone who is combat wounded, and suffers on some level from PTSD, I can't ever let my guard down. I can't ever again just brush off three days straight of Call of Duty. (Granted, I don't allow those sort of games to even enter into our home anymore.) I can't ever brush off the nightmares, the flashbacks, and anything to anyone else might be just an odd interruption.
I also can't believe what the Marine Corps tells me in our "In the Midst" brief, or "Homecoming" brief. I've been told at BOTH to just ignore all of those things I just mentioned, because it's "just combat stress and reintegration". I get that- to a point. But here's my thing- If I had just ignored alllll of those things that I saw in Randy, and I didn't mentally jot those things down and remember them- God only knows where I would be right now.
I am hoping though- that since the last time we did deployments was 4 years ago, that someone somewhere has started to wake up to our reality. That someone somewhere is deciding that these Marines admitting that something isn't quite right doesn't make them weak, or less of a man, or anything like that. I hate that the division psychiatrist or whoever is referred to as "going to see the Wizard", and that the logo on the man's card is in fact a wizard with a crystal ball.
The stereotypes, the stigma, all of it, has got to go away. We MUST make it okay for these amazingly strong individuals to realize that it is OK for them to ask for help. I am praying that none of Randy's marines will suffer the way he has, and experience the level of loss he has- and I hope that Randy-as their leader, is making them realize that it is okay to ask for help when and if they need it. I hope that I make their wives, girlfriends, and family members realize that it is okay to ask for help for them. If I had sat quietly by and just let Randy self-destruct- well, what kind of wife would I have been? What kind of friend would I have been to him? I raised holy hell on his behalf. Yea, he hated me at the time, but like I said, he now sees that I will go to any length to get him the help that he needs, and he understands what I did. It did not affect his career at all, and nobody thought any less of him.
My point is this- if you think that someone you love is struggling with PTSD or Combat Stress, ASK FOR HELP. Even if it's just coming to me, or to someone else you trust. You cannot sit quietly by. You must advocate for them on their behalf. You must speak up- and we must put the stigma to rest.
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