There are no words

...

What happened on Friday in Connecticut was completely and utterly horrifying and devastating.  

There really are no words.

I've been watching or listening to the news almost constantly.  I feel like that is my way of honoring the victims- the teachers and support staff, and all those sweet babies.  I want to know as much as I can about their lives... I want to do what little I can to honor their memory, and to make sure they are not forgotten.

This tragedy- while not to take away from the victims and their families and friends, and really the entire community- has been especially hard for me to deal with.

My mom was an elementary school teacher for 30 plus years.  Many of her friends- who are like my family- still are teachers. 

I worked in elementary schools for 4 years- and still keep in touch with many dear friends from both schools I was lucky enough to work in.

I have a lot of friends from high school and college who are educators.

My life is full of people who have dedicated their lives and their careers to the education of children.

When these events began to unfold on Friday, I could not help but picture myself there.  When I still worked in the school system, we were required to practice lockdown drills a few times a year.  The principal would come over the loudspeaker, we would take the children to a corner of the room, turn out the lights, lock the door, and shutter the windows.  

Then we would sit and wait.  I remember how unnerving the situation could be.  I would sit with a couple kids on each side of me, and one in my lap.  They would lean on me, and whimper a little as someone came banging on the door and shaking the handle to ensure that it was locked properly.  I would do my best to reassure the kids, and let them know that everything would be ok- that this was only practice. 

Eventually, the lockdown was over, the lights would be turned back on, and we would return to our normal, hectic day in kindergarten.

I've read a lot about the actions of the teachers that day.  They are being called heroes- which is exactly what they are.  They selflessly shielded their kids- knowing exactly what could happen, but knowing that they were responsible for the safety and well being of those children.  

I know that every single educator I know- including myself- would have done the exact same thing if we were put in that situation.  I know that I would have done everything in my power to protect my kids- because that's just it- they were my kids.  For 8 plus hours a day, 5 days a week, they are that teacher's kids.  

They hug them, encourage them, love them, discipline them, inspire them, and keep them safe.  

They reassure them- even when they themselves aren't completely sure that everything will be ok.

They create a safe environment to inspire kids, and encourage them to come back to school the next day.  

And today, teachers, support staff, parents, and kids across our country did something incredibly brave.

They went back to school.

They all proved- every single one- that the bad guys are not going to win.