29 plus 1

My running joke with Randy for the last (almost) 8 years of our relationship has been to tell him that eventually, he would surpass me in age.  I think the time has finally come.

3 weeks ago, I turned 30.  

I don't like it very much at all.  Every time I think about how old I am, (which isn't very often) I stick my tongue out.  Because I just don't wanna be 30.  I know- that's very grown up of me to stomp my foot and stick my tongue out.  Oh well! 

The morning of my birthday, I woke up at some point in the middle of the night and refused to look at the clock.  I was officially 30 as of 2:22 am, and I didn't want to know what time it was because that would mean that I was really and truly 30.  (I had a similar reaction when I turned 20- I woke up, saw what time it was and started crying because I realized I was no longer a teenager...)

I really am not sure why I am having such a hard time with it.  It's not like I had a bunch of goals that I wanted to accomplish by this age, or that I'm not where I thought I would be in life.   Because honestly, I never really had a plan to be in a certain place by a certain age.  I've just kinda gone with the flow of things... and where I've wound up has been pretty good for me.  

Blah.  I just don't like it. 

But eventually I will get over it.  I pretty much have to.  I'll accept getting older... eventually.

Either that, or I will just stick with being 29.... plus 1, 2, 3.....