I bet you think we're crazy

Heck, there are some days I think we are crazy too.

Since September 2010, the boy and I have been living apart- and he is what the military refers to as a Geographic Bachelor.   We made the decision because when he got orders to North Carolina, I had JUST gotten a new job.  A great job- a job that I love.  We had orders to the land of no jobs- fabulous Jacksonville, North Carolina.   

(Sidenote- I love Jacksonville.  Really I do.  But for someone who wants to work, its not the best place to find quality employment.)

We decided that he would be a geo-bachelor.  He would move to NC, I would stay with my job in VA.  Besides, he was just going to deploy in a few months anyway, so it made sense.  I honestly thought that when he got home from that deployment, his geo-bachelorhood would be over.  It has obviously not worked out like I had all planned out in my head. So we have a commuter marriage- we see each other on weekends and then Monday through Friday he is in North Carolina.  

I've made a decided effort to not complain, because this is something we have voluntarily agreed to do.  Nobody made us.  This decision was all us.  But there are some day- most days anymore-where I am exhausted, all I want to do is cry, and I feel like the world is against me.  

Is it really worth it for me to still be at the job that I love, when the person that I love is 350 miles away? But is it worth it to be with the person I love, and be miserable the rest of the time because I am again just settling for something in my professional life?  It is a constant internal struggle with myself.  There are so many days where I wish I could be a "normal" wife in the Marine Corps- that I will follow my husband from place to place with a great big smile on my face.  

But I am not the norm.  I am me.  

And this was my chance to do what I wanted- what I needed to do for myself.  The Marine Corps gets to control just about every aspect of my life- and most of the time that is okay.  But this time, I needed to do what made me happy.  It is not the most ideal arrangement, but at the moment it is working for us.  I am actually thinking that it has made our marriage stronger.  For 4 out of the 7 days of the week, I only talk to the boy on the phone.  That means again, we pick and choose our battles.  We don't dwell on the petty stuff, we focus on the good stuff that happens during the day.  On the weekends, we know we only have a certain amount of time, and we try to make the best of it.  Sometimes we have to cram so much in it makes my head spin, but that is okay with me. 

I bet you think I'm crazy.  I'm pretty sure I am.  But one part of our choice to be a military family is to make the best choice for us- even though it might not be the most ideal or the most popular.  If it doesn't work for both of us, the military just won't work.  I know my husband is a lifer- so right now we are both making sacrifices so we can have and do what we want.  I know this geo-bachelor stuff won't last forever- and that's part of the reason I've not yet moved to North Carolina at this point.  We are waiting on orders- so a new duty station is in the not so distant future.  We are both confident that at our next duty station, we will be back to normal. 

Or at least as normal as the Marine Corps allows us to be!