5 months down!!!

Yep, its true! FIVE months BEHIND us!!!!!!!!!!

That's a WHOLE hand!!!!

That, my friends, is a BIG deal!!! 

This last month has been so emotionally exhausting.  Which, honestly, is not too much of a surprise to me.  The summer months of a deployment-for whatever reason- are always hard.  The days are longer, there seems to be more "action"- which results in more injuries, and more.... well, I don't even like to say it.  But this deployment has unfortunately kept in line with our past summer deployments.  So that has definitely made this last month harder.  Even harder than past deployments though, because we have so many close friends deployed right now- and to hear of things happening to friends of our friends- ugh.  It's just hard for everyone.

On top of that- there was all this nonsense with miss Mocha- but she is well on her way to a FULL recovery- in fact, she is recovering better than I had hoped.  At our 2 week post-op checkup, we got a wonderful report.  Dr. Farthing could hardly believe that it had only been 2 weeks since her surgery, because she is healing up so well, and already putting weight on her leg.  The incision is healing well- but she does still have a pretty sizable scar on her leg.  I guess she will never be a show dog! ;)  So hearing that good report definitely took some stress off of me, and I honestly didn't realize how much it had affected me until it wasn't there to bother me anymore.  I've been sleeping a lot better, and the day after that appointment, Randy called, and he commented that I sounded relieved.  Which I was! This dog drama has been ongoing since May 3rd- that's a long time with a pretty constant amount of stress on me.  BUT- it's all in the past now, and we made it through!

I think time is also starting to drag a little bit for Randy- which is hard and frustrating for me.  As much as I try to stay upbeat and positive, its hard when there's not much I can do to help the time pass for him over there.  We just have to take it one day at a time, and handle whatever is thrown at us.  

On a happier note- we are starting to hear rumors.  Great rumors really- of mail cutoff, of ADVON dates (ADVON is a group of about 100 Marines that come home 3-4 weeks before the rest of the unit to get stuff set up for everyone else), and hopefully within the next week, we will have solid post-deployment leave dates.  AND- on Friday Randy put some stuff in the mail.  When he starts sending stuff home- that REALLY means that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I can start getting myself excited about Homecoming.   Pshhh.... who am I kidding?!  I've been excited about homecoming for about 3 months now! 

Looking forward, I am excited that the number of weekends I have to keep myself busy can now be counted on just 2 hands.  And I have a LOT to keep me busy!  I think there are only about 4 weekends that I don't have anything going on.  I need to go shopping soon though- for the elusive "perfect homecoming outfit!" I might need several weekends for that!!!

The girl that wouldn't change her name

Oh that's me. 

I'm "that girl".

The one who wouldn't change her name when she got married.

That's his name- not mine- and he is perfectly ok with that! ;)

 

After Randy and I got married I had to get myself all checked into the Marine Corps.  One of the (way too many) stops was the ID card center.  I filled out my paperwork, smiled and said cheese, and then signed my name.  The woman who was helping us gave me the funniest look.  I smiled- and she told me that she had been working in the ID center for 8 years- and she had NEVER come across a wife that did not change her name. 

I wasn't completely sure how to respond to that.  I didn't change my name because I just didn't want to.  I blame it partly on my stubborn streak, and partly on too many Women's Studies classes at Penn State.  

Randy and I talked a LOT about the whole "name change" thing.  The conversation went something like this:

Me- "But I don't wanna change my name, and I don't have to!"

Randy- "But that's what you're supposed to do!"

Me- "So then you change your name"

Randy-"But I don't wanna!"

Me- "Well, that's exactly my point!!!" 

I'm very lucky that my darling dearest isn't one of those ultra-macho, chest pounding, cave-man types.  Not that there's anything wrong with that- but let's be real.  I am just NOT that type of girl.  I am stubborn, independent, and sometimes way too opinionated to just do something because that's what I'm "supposed to do".

(That's another reason why I love that guy so much- he lets me be me- and is totally okay with that!) 

I've never really done much because I'm supposed to- I've only ever done what I want to. I've been ME for the last 29 years, and I am perfectly happy with it.  It's my name... it's who I am... and I like who I am.

Maybe eventually I will do the whole name change thing- a lot of people have asked what we are going to do when we have kids.  We haven't really gotten that far yet, but I'm confident that when we do get there, we'll make the right decision.  I've thought about hyphenating- so I can still keep "my" name. 

And don't worry- I won't get mad if you call me Meghan Williamson.  It's a decision that I have made for myself- and I won't snap at you and bite your head off if you call me what I'm supposed to be called. 

I might look behind me, trying to figure out who the heck you are talking to though! 

30 minutes

Quick!

What would you do if you only had 30 minutes- 

once a week, maybe less- 

to talk to your spouse, significant other, parent, sibling?

This is a challenge that Randy and I, as a military couple smack in the middle of a deployment, face every single day.  

He gets an opportunity to call once a week.  Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less.  Each phone call is limited to 30 minutes, to give everyone a chance to call home.

When you only have 30 minutes, and a week or more's worth of crap to cram in, it makes you think pretty hard about what's actually important, what is meaningless, and what is straight up BS that doesn't matter anyway.  


Honestly, I think that's another good thing about deployments.  It gives you a chance to prioritize things, and think long and hard about what actually matters.  


Does it really matter that I got a 6 inch crack in my windshield when attempting to put on my new base stickers?  Probably not, because it was an easy fix that I could take care of with one phone call.


Does it really matter that I pre-ordered the Lion King Diamond Edition from the Disney Movie Club?  Yes actually, this does matter, because it's Randy's favorite Disney movie and I knew it would make him laugh.  

Does it really matter that someone I know made me crazy 2 weeks ago because I was being overly emotional and taking things too personally? Definitely not.

I have been reminded over the last few months that what I think in the moment is important is not necessarily what truly matters.  It turns out, the second my phone rings and I recognize that number as that stupid phone with the 3-second delay, none of it matters.  Not one single detail out of my very mundane everyday routine matters.  What matters is hearing his voice on the other end, and knowing that for another day he is good.  What matters is him knowing that I can handle it- whatever it is at the moment.  


I keep a list of things that I need to talk to Randy about, because sometimes, (who am I kidding- EVERY time) I am so excited to talk to him, I completely forget the list.  So I keep a post it note stuck to my phone until I hear from him.  On more than one occasion, I look at the list, and toss it aside.  


Because it just doesn't matter.  None of it is important.  


There are hundreds of things that will happen during this deployment that just don't rate being in my 30 minute phone call.  Maybe I will remember to write them down in a letter or 2 that I send, maybe I won't. (The letters usually are only the good things anyway- there's no point in him reading about something "bad" that happened 2 weeks ago- or longer!)


I think my point in the midst of this rambling is that I hope that once Randy comes home, I continue to stop and think about what actually matters.  I get mad and irritated about silly things, and take it out on him.  I hope that once he is home, I can better learn to control those things, and remember how precious each second is that I have with him, and have him in front of me.  


30 minutes once a week isn't a whole lot of time.  Somehow though, during a deployment, it just has to be enough.

Oh July....

I am OVER you already!

And it's only July 8th!!!

But wait- for once it's not because I am counting down until the end of deployment.  (Although that might be a teeny part of it...)

This month is already the most stressful month so far since my darling dearest left.  

This deployment- for the most part- has been smooth sailing.  

Except for one 85 pound thing. 

For some reason, I had myself convinced that this whole surgery thing would be cake.  I mean, how bad can it really be?

HA!!!

My mom was nice enough to come down to help me out.  Thankfully I had come to my senses and realized that, as stubborn as I am, and as much as I would LOVE to prove to myself that I can do ANYTHING..... it would probably be a good idea to have her here for help. 

After the surgery, my mom literally held my poor dog down in the backseat of my car, for the entire 2 hour trip home.  (Thanks VDOT for having construction on 95 north at 4:30 in the afternoon!) Mocha cried and whimpered and whined because she was just in so much pain.  When we got back home, we couldn't even get her out of my car.  Luckily, my wonderful neighbor came over and got her out for us.  I have no idea what we would have done if he weren't sitting on his porch!  We immediately put her in her crate and gave her the meds that were prescribed.  She cried and whine for another 2 hours, before finally falling asleep.

I was pretty much on the verge of a complete and utter meltdown.  I felt like the worst person in the world, and was confident the dog would hate me forever for doing this to her.  

Turns out that Thursday night was the worst of it.  By Friday afternoon, she was starting to perk up and eat a little bit here and there.  I thought that it would all be smooth sailing from there.

My mom left to go home to PA Wednesday when I left for work.  I should have known that military wives' Murphy's Law would kick in as soon as she left.  I really don't know why I was so surprised that everything went straight to hell.  I should have expected it really!

I got home from work, took the pup out, and noticed some blood coming out of her.  Seriously?!  So I called the vet who did the surgery, and she said that she was concerned, and suggested that I take her to our regular vet in the AM.  Well, there was NO way I was waiting until the morning to take her to the vet.  There was something wrong with her NOW, and so off to the emergency vet we went.

Now, please keep in mind, my dog is not supposed to be putting any sort of weight on her leg, or jumping and moving it suddenly.  I have an SUV.  I had to lift my dog into the car by myself.  I think sheer panic and adrenaline kicked in- because somehow I managed to do that-twice! 

We arrived at the emergency vet as soon as they opened.  The vet there explained that the painkiller she had been given can cause GI tract irritation, and bleeding, so that was what it was from.  I'm just so thankful that's all it was!  We were prescribed a 3rd antibiotic, and sent on our merry way.

Enter the longest night ever.  Since I was completely freaked out that something would happen to her in the middle of the night, I slept on the couch downstairs with her.  I was awake at 1am, 4am, 5:30am, and then finally at 6:30 when my alarm went off.  I have never heard such grumblings coming out of a dog's stomach. 

I can't complain much though.  She is already back to normal, and recovering quite well from her surgery.  So really, if this is the worst I have to deal with, I will take it.

At least things can only get better from here!!