2013- Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Today, May 10, 2013, is Military Spouse Appreciation Day.

 

 

 You can read my 2011 post here.

When I agreed to move to North Carolina with Randy in 2005, I really had no idea what to expect.  I was moving to a different state, I knew nobody, and he was leaving in 6 weeks for his second deployment to Iraq.  The spouses I met just a few days later welcomed me with open arms- and taught me everything I know about being a military spouse.  

I watched them as we all struggled with a difficult deployment that affected us all deeply.  I watched them cook meals, fly to funerals to comfort friends, run meetings, calm our fears, and answer our questions.  They did all this while their own spouses were deployed.  They were just as afraid as the rest of us- but I would have never known that.  They handled everything thrown at them with such grace, courage, and strength, and I have done my best to model myself after what I saw from them.  

They taught me so much- and continue to teach me.  It is an honor to be amongst their ranks- and to be a part of this amazing community.  I am thankful every single day- and so appreciative for the amazing examples I had early on.  

I have now been a military spouse for over 5 years.  There are good days, bad days, and the best days ever- but every day I know that I do not walk alone.  I am surrounded by some of the strongest women I have ever had the privilege of knowing- let alone calling my friends, my sisters.  I am only as strong as those that support me- and I am incredibly lucky to be completely surrounded by some of the strongest women I know.  

They are the ones that answer my calls at 2 am, drive to comfort me when I just need a friend, put their own needs on the back burner to take care of a neighbor's kid, volunteer way too much, move to a different state the moment orders are issued, and still manage to smile and laugh and enjoy everything that life throws at us.  

So- to my fellow milspouses- Thank You.  Thank you for all YOU do to support our fighting men and women.  Thank you for all you do to support your fellow spouses.  Without you, I would not be where I am, or who I am for that matter.  

I am eternally grateful to each and every one of you.  

Month 2 is in the books!

As of about 7:00 this morning, we officially put month 2 in the books.

I could not be happier.  

This month has been challenging for me, and for once, it really has nothing to do with the deployment.  (Alright, maybe it does- if the boy were around, I think maybe I would have handled things better- differently? who knows.)

The boy is still floating around in the middle of who knows where.  I am still hearing from him regularly, which is such an amazing gift.  I have moments where I feel guilty that I have talked to my husband practically every day since he left, but then I remind myself that we have paid our dues.  In past deployments, we have gone months with no communication, so I am thanking my lucky stars for this gift we have this time around. 

I just got home from my week long trip to California, which was definitely the bright spot for month 2.  It was amazing to be able to spend a week surrounded by some of my closest friends- who truly are my family- when I desperately needed to be reminded what family truly was.  

My big grown up realization this month was that maybe family isn't what we are born into.  It turns out the family we are born with can stab you in the back and say hateful, terrible things just as easily as a stranger can.  The family that Randy and I have created for ourselves- our great, big, wonderful, chaotic Marine Corps Family- will always be there when we need them.   

Month 2 highlights:

     -A flower delivery at work.  Apparently the boy has been a bit of a slacker in the letter writing department- his words not mine!- and felt bad.  I love flowers for no reason!

     -Turning 29 plus 2.....  despite being slightly sad about my age, I really had a fantastic day.

 

     -My car was rear ended AGAIN.  This is the third time this has happened since we have moved to NOVA.  But- it was taken care of while I was in California, and was able to pick up my car this morning.  I handled it.  :)

     -I kicked off my deployment weight loss journey... which was completely sidelined by my trip west... whoops.  I started again today, so we shall see!

     -My trip to California!! We were busy! Wine tasting, cupcakes, seals in La Jolla, a fabulous pre-birthday dinner in Coronado, and just lots of time with friends.  

     -Decisions were made, and deadlines were created.  The boy and I have some big choices to make in the upcoming months... mostly concerning our next step in the Marine Corps.  He also FINALLY made a decision about the motorcycle he wants... which, according to him, was the most stressful thing for him this deployment.  (Seems strange, but this is our new deployment reality, and I will take it!)


All in all, this was another quick month.  I am hoping that this coming month will be less stressful, and that I will be able to focus on the positive.

Oh... and one more thing!  A book was written and recently published that gives an account of Randy's first deployment in Fallujah, Iraq in 2004.  It was an awesome read- definitely hard for me at times, but gave me a much better understanding of what transpired during our very first deployment.  Be sure to check it out!  The website is: http://www.memoirsofanoutlaw.com/. 

A Weekend Away

Just like last deployment, one of my goals is to have one fun thing to look forward to each month.  It doesn't matter how small (like a pedicure), or how big (a week long trip to Cali)- I am going to stay busy!

Even though the boy is only away training, I still wanted to do my best to keep busy while he was away.  Lucky for me, one of my closest and oldest friends is pregnant with twins- so  I got to head home this past weekend for her baby shower.  

Now, for those that know me- bridal showers and baby showers don't necessarily rank very high on my list of favorite things.  But when it means that I get to see some of my favorite ladies... I am all about it.

 It was so wonderful to be able to spend even a little bit of time with my "sisters".  We don't get to see each other as often as I would like, and I miss them terribly.  I was reminded again though what an amazing support system I have- each of these ladies has a LOT on their plate- but they were quick to ask how I was doing, and how the boy was doing.  I can't tell you how much that meant to me.


I also got to show off my crafty side... I made some diaper cakes for the shower.  (I'm really quite proud of how these turned out- I surprised myself!)

 My favorite part of the weekend though was getting to spend time with my sister and my sweet little niece.  Emma is 8 weeks old now, and she's already changed so much since I saw her at Christmas.  I was happy (for selfish reasons) that my sister and niece were at home all weekend.  It's rare that I get to spend that much time with my sister- and when we were getting ready for the shower, I felt like I was in high school again, as she was bugging me to borrow my makeup and some random hair products I brought with me. It was actually pretty fun!

I got to snuggle a lot with this little lady:

 
And I loved every second of it.  Having Emma around now definitely makes it harder to leave PA.... I wish I was much much closer to home so I could see her every day.  (I'm secretly still hoping for orders close to home once this deployment is behind us.)

So, Mission Stay Busy was a success for the month of training.  Stay tuned for more deployment adventures.... anybody want to come visit?? I make a GREAT tour guide!! :)

Pit Bull Awareness Month

This is my dog.
     (Well, Randy's dog.)

Mocha girl.  

She is a lab-maybe pit-maybe boxer- mix.
     (A mutt.)

And a spoiled rotten brat.

I found out a couple weeks ago that October is Pit Bull Awareness month.  And while we are not completely sure that Mocha is part pit- we have tried to be good pet parents and ambassadors for the breed in general.  

I love dogs.  LOVE them.  I grew up with German Shepherds... I am a big dog kind of girl.  Before Mocha flung (flang? flinged?) herself into our world, we were shopping for a puppy of the shepherd variety.  We had agreed that we would get a puppy that summer, when I would be home to train it and housebreak it and all that puppy stuff.  

Little did we know, a teeny mutt had other plans for us.  We all know the story- sweet Randy was helping our neighbors move, and when they got to the neighbors new place, the previous occupants had abandonded their 4 month old puppy.  She had been locked in her cage for at least 3 days, with no food and water.  Randy calls me and asks if we could keep her.  There was a gross misunderstanding, and I was suckered into keeping her.  This was of course after many phone calls to lots of shelters and rescue organizations.  The rescue groups couldn't take her- they were all full.  The shelter would take her, but would euthanize her, because she could possibly be part pit bull.  

The thought of taking this adorable creature to a shelter that would only kill her broke my heart.  (Ask my dad- I was devastated, and hysterical crying.)  I just couldn't bring myself to let that happen.  It didn't matter to me what kind of dog she was- all I knew is that she needed to be rescued.  

And here we are, almost 5 years later.  We still aren't totally sure what kind of dog we have, but I do make a point of saying we think she is part pit bull. We try to be good ambassadors for the breed- even if she isn't part pit bull.  I've gotten to the point where I just might rescue some more pit bull type dogs- just to prove to everyone how incredibly sweet and caring and lovable these dogs are.  We have worked hard to have a well trained, well mannered dog.  And while she isn't perfect, and most of the time is scared of her own shadow, she is still a pretty fantastic dog who is throwing a lot of stereotypes right out the window.  

My point in all this rambling is this- if you see us walking down the street, don't run away scared.  Stop and ask us questions- we are happy to tell you Mocha's story.  She will love on you and let you pet her.... and if you are tiny enough, maybe let you climb all over her.   

She makes a great babysitter- and thinks that she can do a much better job of caring for children.

I'm hopeful that one day Mocha won't have to deal with the stereotypes.  People will realize that it's the person, not the breed, that makes a dog what it is or isn't.  But until then, we will take her wherever we go, and we will answer people's questions.  We will keep smiling when they cross to the other side of the street when they see us coming.  We will keep being good ambassadors- and hopefully change someone's opinion along the way. 

Road Trip!

This weekend was BUSY.  (So busy that I ran myself ragged and caught a cold, but that's another story.)

In my efforts to distract myself during the deployment, this past weekend was my big travel weekend for July.  I was planning on heading home to PA, with stops in Bloomsburg for a baby shower for one of my oldest friends (old as in people I have known the longest- since we were almost 5!), and State College to visit some of our closest friends.   I knew it was going to be an exhausting weekend, so I planned to leave work early, so I could be home by dinnertime.  I wanted to have at least a little down time at home.

Turns out those pesky deployment gods had other plans for me.  

My route home has been the same since I moved to North Carolina 6 years ago.  95 North to 476 to the Northeast Extension of the PA Turnpike.  I've driven that route a LOT.  Never in the last 6 years have I had one problem once I hit the turnpike.  This time was different.

While I was on 476, I saw a sign announcing that the NE Ext was CLOSED. 

CLOSED?!?!

(Insert complete and utter panic mode/meltdown here) 

Anybody want to take bets on who I called??  Oh, you guessed it.  Daddy saves the day again!

He, with the help of my mom and 2 of the guys he works with, proceeded to reroute me through Philadelphia so I could make it home.   I was slightly less than thrilled that I had to drive through Philly, but the alternative of sitting in traffic and waiting for the Turnpike to reopen was even less appealing.

So off I went.

Temple University.  My sister went here for a few semesters, so thankfully I was slightly familiar with the area.

We go from city to country in about 20 miles.  This was along the Delaware River.

 
Needless to say, I arrived home well past dinner.  As stressful and as LONG as it was, I was happy to be home in one piece.  My usual 4-5 hour trip home took me 8 hours, thanks to 611 north.  I did get a phone call from Randy though while I was driving, so that was a welcome distraction, and he definitely had me cracking up and feeling slightly less sorry for myself by the time we hung up. 

When I got home, I pretty much walked into the looney bin.  My dad was holding a colander and a flashlight, and my mom was equipped with a headlamp and a laser pointer.  Apparently a toad had hopped into our garage, and being the animal lovers that we are, none of us could bear to see him perish.  So we went on a toad hunt. 

That bright yellow thing in my dad's hand is the colander.  I didn't help much, I mostly just drank my beer and took pictures.  It was definitely the laugh I needed after a ridiculous ride home!!

There is truly never a dull moment with my family.

I crashed early that night, and was up early the next morning for the next leg of my trip-  Caroline's baby shower.  I am still in shock that she is having a baby- but so excited for her and the entire family! I rode out to Bloomsburg with my sister, which was so nice, because we had a chance to chat and catch up.  It also made me realize (again!) how much I miss her! 

Me, Caroline, and Sara.  We have a picture of the 3 of us together from each of our bridal showers, weddings, and now baby showers.  These girls are some of my dearest friends, and they are like sisters to me!!

Straight from the shower I headed out to State College.  I am lucky that I still have some very close friends out there, and was happy to have a chance to see them.  It was so nice to just sit and relax and catch up on their deck.  The only thing missing was Randy- although I'm not sure we would have had a quiet, relaxing evening if he were there... ha! ;)

me and Sophia!

 Isn't Sophia the sweetest??? I just adore her, and love being able to spend some time with her.  

All in all, I traveled just under 800 miles this weekend.  But I would do it again in a second.  

I had such a great weekend, and got to see so many great friends- who again reminded me what a great support system I have when Randy is away.  

Oh! I almost forgot the best part- by the time this weekend was said and done, it was officially AUGUST- which means I can finally say I will see my guy NEXT month!!!  

My Abbie

Abbie
April 23, 2002- June 28, 2011

Yesterday just sucked.  There's really no other word to describe it. 

My dad called me at 7:14 yesterday morning to let me know that they had to put our sweet Abbie girl to sleep the night before. 

It came as a huge shock to all of us- I'm still in shock for that matter.  She was being treated for what we all thought was a bladder infection.  But Monday night, she started collapsing and was having trouble breathing.  When my parents rushed her to the emergency vet, the vet told them that she had a cancerous tumor that had ruptured, filling her belly with blood, and causing her to collapse and have a hard time breathing.  They had 2 options- emergency surgery to remove the tumor, and give Abbie maybe 6 months tops, or to put her to sleep, so she didn't have to suffer.  

They chose to put her to sleep- which I am sure was an incredibly hard decision for them to make.  

So now, we 4 are just sad.  Well, 5, if you include poor Milo, who just lost his best friend, but doesn't really understand what the heck is going on.  He's our family cat- and he and Miss Abbie got along so well- and were always playing and wrestling and chasing each other around the house.   

It's hard to explain how I'm feeling- but if you have a dog, you totally understand.  I truly feel like I just lost one of my closest friends, a part of my family, and I am just completely heartbroken.

We got Abbie the summer between my sophomore and junior year of college.  She was teeny when we brought her home- only 6 weeks old.  She was also a 3-1 decision, just like our first German Shepherd Saxony had been.  Except it was a different 3-1.... it was Mommy, Liz, and me versus Daddy.  Liz and I won again.   She was a family summer project.  We all helped train her, housebreak her... you name it, we raised this puppy together.

She was our baby, which of course turned her into a 75 pound mush.  She always was more afraid of her own shadow than anybody could possibly be of her.  (Are we seeing a trend with how we Sedlaks' raise our dogs.... they are all huge babies!)

We all spoiled her rotten- and treated her like a part of our family.  I swear that dog could understand every word you said to her.... well at least she looked at you like she did.  No matter how bad of a day any of us were having, all it took was one look at Abbie, and she would come over and lick your face- whether you wanted her to or not.  She was just the sweetest girl- and loved all of us completely unconditionally.

I think that's really the wonderful thing about having a pet- dogs or cats- they just love you.  No matter what, they just love you for you.  The tradeoff of that unconditional love is the hurt we all feel right now... which just hurts.  No way around it really.  

I googled a bunch of quotes before, trying to find the right words to describe how I'm feeling, and how much I'm already missing Abbie girl.  Here are a few of my favorites: 


"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive."
     -Gilda Radner


"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
     -Unknown


"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
     -Unknown



"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
     -Roger Caras



"My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am."
     -Toby & Eileen Green

I come and go a lot now from my parents's house these days.  Every time I leave, my parents and Abbie stand in the garage and watch me back out of the driveway.  When I went home for my mom's retirement party last month, I remember looking at Abbie, and thinking that was going to be the last time I saw her.  I couldn't shake that feeling my entire trip back down to Virginia. 

I think I will always have a bit of regret that I wasn't there with Abbie when my parents made the decision to put her to sleep.  But I know she is happier now, and not hurting anymore, and I'm taking comfort in that. 

I have this mental picture of Abbie and Saxony playing together, wherever they are, waiting for the rest of us to join them.  And that is also a huge comfort to me.   

Happy Birthday Daddy!

At this point in my blogging, I've talked up every member of my immediate family- except my daddy.  In honor of his birthday, it's his turn!



Daddy and me at my wedding reception- October 6, 2007.

I have a pretty special relationship with my family, and I am lucky that I feel equally close to my mom, dad, and my sister.  My dad is a pretty amazing guy though.  He didn't grow up under the best of circumstances, but he's never really let that stop him.  He wanted his kids to have better than he did- which is something I think everyone wants for their kids- but I know he has done just that.  He's worked incredibly hard as long as I can remember to be able to make my childhood better than his was.  He's done a pretty good job of it too.  There was never a time that my sister and I came home to an empty house- even with 2 parents that worked full time jobs.  He was the one to meet the school bus every afternoon, and he would get us our after school snacks, and help us with our homework.  He's always been there.... always.   Every single chorus concert, dance recital, football game, you name it, daddy was there.  He never once complained, although I am sure he was completely exhausted on more than one occasion.


When I was in 6th grade (maybe even before then??) I started watching NASCAR races with my dad every Sunday.  I loved it- because my mom and sister really weren't interested, so it was something that I just did with my daddy.  He and I have been to probably 6 or 8 races together- and I always loved having that one "thing" that was just ours.  Whenever I hear Gordon Lightfoot's song "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" I immediately flash back to the very first race we went to together, at Pocono.  It was pouring down rain while we were driving to the racetrack, and super early in the morning.  I remember him explaining to me that this was a true story, and that men had died.  It's completely random, I know- but every time I hear it that song, I am 12 years old again, in my dad's old Mazda pickup truck, listening to him sing along to it.

My dad has never been one to say very much- but he always tells me he loves me.  He wasn't one to threaten old boyfriends- he would just kindly inform them that he had friends in the mob.  He's protective- but not overly so.  He is kind, caring, and let us have pets growing up- even though he is insanely allergic to just about everything.  He never yelled at us- all it took was one look, and one phrase- "I am so disappointed in you".  I remember my dad saying that just one time- and I have never been so devastated or heartbroken.  

He has always been one half of "the cool parents".  He's let my sister and I make our own decisions, choices, and mistakes- but would always be there for us regardless of the outcome.  I'm not completely sure how he felt when I announced that I was moving to North Carolina to live with my Marine boyfriend- but I always knew he supported me, regardless of what his feelings were at the time.


I'm incredibly blessed that Daddy and Randy have such a good relationship- their mutual love of all things Yankees definitely helps in that area.  Randy doesn't have the best relationship with his dad- but most of the time that doesn't matter- because now he has my dad.  He is the first person we both call for advice, guidance, and help. No matter what the situation is, the answer is to call Daddy.  I love that I can still do that- whether it's for a flat tire, a cracked windshield, or just a random question.  Randy does the same thing- although usually he is asking my dad about some obscure Yankees statistic!

Yankees game- I think in 2009??  I am sure one of them will let me know of the exact date!!

Daddy, thank you so much for everything you've done for me.  I know I don't say it nearly as much as I should, but I love you.  I am just so incredibly lucky to know you are always there, and that I can always count on you.  I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you to rely on, especially with Randy being deployed.  It makes me feel so much better to know you are always only a phone call away, or, if needed, a car ride away.  For me, nothing ever seems impossible- because I can always turn to you for what I need.  I wish every girl was as lucky as Liz and I have been to have you as our daddy- but then again, I'm kinda glad I only had to share you with Lizzy! ;)


I love you, Daddy!

Follow the Yellow Brick Road!

Friday night was a big night for the Sedlak Family. 

Follow the Yellow Brick Road.... Happy Retirement, Pat!

It was my mom's SURPRISE Retirement Party.

It was pretty hard for the 3 of us- Daddy, Liz, and me- to keep a secret from my mom.  I really don't know how we all managed to pull it off.  I give a LOT of credit to the 2nd grade team at Middle Smithfield.  How they managed to hide all the party planning from my mom is beyond me!  I was actually kinda happy to live away during all of this- it was hard enough to just talk to my mom as often as I do and not blow the surprise!!

Anyway, everything went perfectly.  Liz and I had told her that we wanted to take her out for a belated Mother's Day dinner when I was home.  She thought we were wonderful, thoughtful daughters.... and I guess we still actually owe her a Mother's Day dinner... ha!  She was completely surprised when we made it down to the room where the party was- she stood there for a full 30 seconds just in absolute shock.  I can't wait to see the pictures of her face!

The theme was "Wizard of Oz", one of my mom's favorite movies.  It was pretty hilarious to see my mom with a Dorothy wig on!

Daddy, Mommy in her wig, me and Liz.  I have no idea what my face is all about, but it cracked me the heck up when I saw this picture!

It's still kind of shocking to me that I have parents that are old enough to retire from something.  Maybe it's because my parents sure as heck don't act their age, and I don't really feel 29.  But, my mom is retiring.  After 32 years of teaching at home in East Stroudsburg, and in Newark, NJ, it is definitely well deserved.  She has dedicated a lot of time and energy to her job- and she truly loves what she does.  We are very excited for her too.  It's a whole new chapter and beginning for the 4 of us, and I can't wait to see what she does post-retirement!

So, I'll end with the speech that I wrote.  It's pretty hard to write about someone I love as much as I love my mom.  There were so many things that I wanted to say.  But between my speech, the letter that Randy wrote to my mom, and the fabulous speech my sister gave, I think we did a pretty good job of summing her up!!

Hi Everyone.  I’m Pat’s oldest daughter, Meghan.  I wanted to start by thanking you all for being here today to share in my mom’s retirement celebration.  I know it means a lot to her to have each and every one of you here with us today.

I still remember when my mom started working in the district.  She started out as a substitute at my elementary school, JM Hill, when I was in first grade.  I remember tracking my mom down wherever she was in the school, and trying to get her attention by frantically waving at her from the hallway.  I’m sure she was thrilled by that.  I also remember she was a substitute on a field trip- to Trexler Game Preserve- and I kept getting myself in trouble for finding my mom and not staying with my chaperone. 

She was hired to teach 2nd grade at Middle Smithfield when I was in 2nd grade.  I was so excited- I thought I was so cool to have my mom as a teacher.  Clearly I didn’t realize what that really meant!  Not that I was by any means a bad kid- but it meant I could NEVER be a bad kid- because all of my teachers knew my mom was a teacher.  Just the thought of them being able to call her at any second and report my bad behavior was enough to keep me walking the straight and narrow! 

Having a teacher for a mom meant my sister and I had someone who was just as excited as we were about snow days and summer vacation.  We also had someone who was just as depressed as we were when summer vacation came to an end.  It meant being tricked into educational family vacations- although I’m not sure what the educational value was in our family cruise this past summer!

It also meant that Lizzy and I had a mom that had a lot on her plate with a busy career, but still managed to find time to read with us at night, help us with our homework, sit down for family meals together, and have random polka parties in the rec room. 

She always found time to take us to dance classes, gymnastics, and Friday night football games.  She was my brownie leader, then my senior Girl Scout leader in high school.  She volunteered as a band parent and a cheerleading parent- and dragged my dad along for all of that too. 

It seems that there was always a lesson to be learned, or something to be taught when you have a mom that’s a teacher.  For instance- it’s NEVER “yea”, it’s always “YES” (I still correct myself when I happen to make that mistake).  There’s a LOT of power in one LOOK (enough to make even marines look away and think twice about whatever they are doing- or about to do!)  But most importantly, my mom taught me to be the person that I am today.  I realized a few years ago that I am, in fact, my mother’s daughter.  And that’s really not such a bad thing to be!

So, Mommy, congratulations on everything you have accomplished, all the lives that you have changed, and the differences you have made in your students’ lives.  I love you very much, and can’t wait for your first post-retirement visit to help me move to North Carolina!

  

the 4 of us! :)



A second opinion

Whew.  

Relief does not even begin to describe what I feel right now!!!

I just got back from our 2nd opinion at my NEW vet.  (Aquia Garrisonville can kiss my ass!!!)

I was actually taken in on time- not forced to wait in a crowded waiting room for 30-45 minutes.  The vet tech actually made an effort to get down on Mocha's level, and really make friends with her.  (The constant treat feeding probably helped too!)  She also sprayed something in the air to help Mocha relax too- I think I might need some of that stuff!

Dr. Farthing is WONDERFUL!  Seriously.  I didn't know vets were supposed to be like that!  She asked what was going on, and listened to my concerns, and explained things in a way that I could actually understand.  She immediately said that for her, surgery is a last resort, not a first option.  She is very much into all natural and homeopathic treatments.  I loved that too.

So as of now, surgery is OFF the table, and I now have a splitting headache from the relief I feel, and the tension finally going away from constant worry over the last week.  Mocha is taking 4 different supplements for joint health, and to help rebuild her ligaments.  She got aqua-puncture as well as laser therapy today.  Aqua puncture is an injection of something directly into her knee.  Apparently dogs usually need to be sedated for the procedure, but Mocha handled it like a champ- no sedation needed.  I was a very proud pet parent today, as well as a very relieved one.  

Dr. Farthing also gave me the name of a surgery center in Richmond- in case we do eventually need to do that route.  I just looked it up, and the same procedure I was told would cost $3500 is $995 there!!!!  

So- regardless now, Mocha WILL be treated, and WILL get better.  And cost won't matter now.  That's a pretty good feeling too.  

Plus, this all is just another way to count down the deployment!  I guess Mocha figured I needed something else to distract me!

Days like today...

....realllllly make me wish Randy was here.

That's Mocha- our brat.  And our baby.  Well, mostly Randy's baby.  (She loves me only when he isn't around.)  I give her a lot of credit for helping him through his PTSD issues last year- I'm betting she knows more about his deployments than I do.

This dog, for some crazy reason, has become my world with Randy being gone.

I'm not exactly sure when that happened, but I'm pouring a lot more time and energy into her because Randy isn't here, and because she's my responsibility... and because besides me, Randy loves her bestest haha.  

Which is why I freak out about the smallest thing going wrong with her- and why I am freaking out today.  I got a phone call about 10 this morning from daycare.  (Yes, she goes to daycare, laugh all you want!) She had played pretty hard with her puppy friends all morning, and now wasn't putting any weight on her back leg.  I told them I would come pick her up and take her to the vet.  

We got to the vet, and were seen by a newbie, whom I like to refer to as Doogie Howser.  What he told me sent me slightly over the edge, and I did cry a little bit, but I managed to keep it together.  Apparently my dog had blown out her knee, and/or torn a ligament.  I can't be completely sure which- because he kept using all these smart person big boy vet words.  He gave me the name of a specialized surgeon, who I needed to call and schedule an appointment.  When I called, the surgery would be $3500.  For a dog.  UGH!!!!

Now onto my meltdown.  (This is only my second for this deployment- so I am averaging about one a month- not too shabby!)

I am completely beating myself up over this because I am responsible for her, and I am responsible for her being hurt.  I know its completely irrational, but its how I feel.  I take one look at her and start crying- because she's such a good dog and would never let me know that she is in any sort of pain.  She just kinda hangs out, and looks at me while I sob, and licks the tears off my face.  She's walking around- just not putting any weight on her back leg, but she just breaks my heart.  I want to be able to help her- but I just can't.  

So this time, my mommy got the brunt of my meltdown.  I really am not sure what I would do without my parents!!!  She told me to call Doogie tomorrow, and ask him all the questions I am just now thinking of, maybe get a second opinion, and shop around to see if I can get this surgery done for cheaper.  She also volunteered to come down and pup-sit after Mocha does have the surgery, if it comes to that.  Based on what I've read, the recovery is 12 weeks.  

Today was just another one of those days that I realllly, realllly, selfishly wish Randy were here.  If he were, he would completely take over and figure this out for me, because really, I am not good when the crisis is happening to me.  And he knows that about me, and loves me despite that... ha!  I really wish that I wasn't waiting another week for a phone call, and that I could just pick up a phone or shoot him an email and know I would get a response.  

Blah.  

Today, deployments suck. 

I married a smoker

There is nothing more disgusting to me than cigarette smoke. 

Growing up, every single one of my relatives smoked.  I remember coming home from many Thanksgivings, Christmases, birthday parties, and any other family gathering reeking of cigarette smoke.  My eyes and throat would burn for days.  GROSS. 

My parents don't smoke, hardly any of my friends smoke (as far as I know). 

But my husband does.

And I am okay with that, because it's just a deployment thing.

5 years ago, Randy agreed to quit smoking for me.  Not because he really wanted to, but because I wanted him to.  He knew it meant a lot to me, and he knew I hated it, so he did it for me.  He quit practically cold-turkey.  He used the patch for about a month, we ran out, and he decided he didn't even need that anymore.  This happened between deployments 2 and 3.  

When it came time for deployment number 3, we made a deal.  He could smoke for the length of the deployment.  BUT, when he landed at Cherry Point, he was a non-smoker again. 

He's kept to that promise, with the exception of a stretch of 2 months or so at the beginning of last year.  

Smoking is mainly a stress-reliever for him.  So when things start stressing him out, he goes for the cigarettes.  Which is why I completely understand why he needs to smoke during a deployment.  If that's what he needs to do to keep his head on straight and have the frame of mind he needs to be able to make the kinds of decisions he does, then so be it.  

I don't enjoy buying the cigarettes, and I'm fairly certain I sound and look like a complete moron when purchasing them- I have the brand name written on a post-it note in my purse, and have to whip that out each time!  Which is why it frustrated me to no end yesterday when I couldn't find the kind of cigarettes he wanted.  Its one of 2 things Randy asks me to send him when he's deployed.  Cigarettes and Mountain Dew.  I think I can manage to do that for him.  And besides, it makes me feel like I'm doing something to help him through this deployment.

So, for the next 6 months, I will be married to a smoker. But I am completely okay with that! 

Opposites Attract!

 

Yep, that's us.  Total opposites.  That Paula Abdul song might very well have been written about us. 



(P.S. Randy knows every word to this song.)
He cracks me up every time when he sings it!

Randy and I have known each other close to 11 years.  We met my senior year of high school, his freshman year.  (Insert cradle robbing jokes here- I've heard em all!)  We met at band camp.  I was in the bandfront, he played the trombone.  He was an icky freshman, I was a badass senior.  I never thought much of him- other than he was a nice kid.  But something about him just always stuck with me- I think it was the duct-tape on the Yankees baseball cap, or maybe that infectious smile.  But we remained friends when I left for college. 

The one thing I have ALWAYS known about Randy is that he wanted to be a Marine.  I remember in high school- its all he ever talked about.  So I was not surprised when he enlisted minutes after he turned 18.  I wasn't surprised when he called to say goodbye when he left for boot camp.  We wrote, I got him in trouble for sending him a package, and I wrote to apologize for getting him in trouble.  (I still feel bad about that babe!)  He left for his first deployment to Iraq in 2004, and when his personal life kinda fell apart on him, I was there to pick up the pieces.  When he got off the bus in September 2004, I was there, and have been there ever since.  

He's got this complete wild side- a total adrenaline junkie.  I am happiest on the couch, with a blanket and a good book.  He is totally spur of the moment- I need a PLAN.  He can't sit still to save his life- I could happily watch movies all day long.  When we go home, he's got to be on the move, I love just spending time with my parents.  I am a complete home-body, he is anything but.  He is all about adventure- I am not.  We just don't make sense.  But somehow, we make it work every single day.  

Our wedding day- October 6, 2007.  Of course he would.

Randy definitely keeps me on my toes, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  He's completely crazy, and drives me crazy, but I love it.  I didn't marry him to try to change him into something I wanted.  I married him because I love him exactly the way he is- crazy and all.  Of course we have our good days and bad days, but who doesn't?  The most rewarding part of a marriage is knowing that you can work through those good days and bad days together, and come out on the other side better and stronger for it.   We balance each other out remarkably well.  I keep him level and organized, he reminds me its okay to laugh and have fun.   

On the cruise- August 2010

 I remember someone coming up to us the day of our wedding and saying, "but you guys have NOTHING in common!"  That still makes me laugh, because its just TRUE!  We have nothing in common- except we are crazy about each other.  Isn't that enough?  Why would I marry someone exactly like me?  How boring would that be??   

photo by Christina Canterbury

I wouldn't change any of it though, not for a second. 

I love you babe! ;)

And furbabies make 5!

I should be cleaning right now, but I think I'm starting to become addicted to this blogging thing.  We'll see how long this lasts!

Everything in the Marine Corps seems to happen a little bit faster than things in the "real world".  I'm not quite sure why that is- maybe its the deployment cycle, who knows.  But Randy and I are definitely in the minority in that we don't have any kids yet.  And don't really want kids for a while.  I'm just too stubborn and selfish at the moment, and it pains me some mornings to have to get up to let the dog out, let alone care for another human being.  And for those that know Randy- well, that should be explanation enough right there... ha!

So, 2 days after our wedding back in 2007, we decided to adopt.  Furbabies that is.  We are both animal lovers- in fact, if given the opportunity, we would probably have a "dalmatian plantation"!  Off to the SPCA we went, on the great search for the perfect cats for us.  We went to the shelter thinking we just wanted one cat.  Somehow we wound up with 2.  Funny how that works.    

 

 

 

 

My firstborn, Damon.  October 2007

The middle child- Johnny. November 2007

Now, we chose Damon first.  He was sweet, cuddly, and fluffy.  Once we had chosen him, one of the volunteers said... "You know, he has a brother...." Well, crap.  They brought Johnny out, and explained to us that when he had been neutered, he had a bad reaction to the anesthesia, and was well... slightly off.  He was kinda wobbly, and had a runny nose.  They weren't sure if it was permanent, or if he would outgrow it. (Since then, he's grown out of it all- except he still walks funny.)  But they handed him to me, and he nuzzled right into my neck and started purring... and well, it was a done deal.  

And then there were two.

So we were a happy little family of four- Randy, me, Johnny and Damon.  (We are huge Yankees fans, and thats where the boys got their names.  Since then, Johnny Damon has left the Yankees, and we've learned to only name pets after retired Yankees players!)

A few months later, Randy was helping our neighbors next door move into a townhouse down the street.  When they got to the house, the people that were moving out had abandoned their puppy.  This dog had been locked in her crate with NO food and NO water for at least 3 days.  Ugh.  People make me sick.  

So the sucker that my husband is, called me and said.... there's this dog and I love her and I think we should keep her. NO NO NO!  That was not my PLAN. (There's that planning thing again.)  My plan was to get a puppy that summer, since I would be off from school, and be able to train her and housebreak her and all that fun nonsense.  

Turns out some of the best laid plans are meant to be broken.  After many, many, MANY discussions- and the fact that the only place we could find to take her was just going to euthanize her because she was potentially part pit bull- we decided to keep Mocha.  

Her first picture with us- about 4 months old and 27 lbs- March 2008

Her face just kills me-how could someone actually abandon a face like that?!  She was malnourished- nothing but skin and bones, and after months of misdiagnosed urinary tract infections, she had Lyme disease too.  I'm not positive, but I also think that the woman in the house she was living in just beat the heck out of her- because it took poor Mocha forever to come near me.  She still flinches sometimes when I go to pet her, because she thinks I might hit her.  :(

My only stipulation was that we would take her to obedience school.  I grew up with big dogs, and I REFUSED to have a big dog that would not listen to me, especially with Randy being gone so much.   So off to Petsmart we went, and after 16 weeks of classes, we had a graduate on our hands.  

So, us, plus 3 furbabies make 5.  Some days I feel like I live in the zoo.  But on the days when Johnny and Mocha are cuddled up on the couch with me, and Damon is on his ottoman, I wouldn't have it any other way.  These 3 are my kids, and I think during the deployment, they might be the only things that keep me sane.  And, on some mornings, the only reason I drag my sorry butt out of bed!