Today, July 7th, marks 9 years that Randy has been in the Marine Corps.
I have been thinking a lot today about how different things would have been if the military was not a part of my life. After 9 years, I am sure that the Marine Corps has taught me nine thousand things... but that would kinda be boring to read after a while.
So, in no particular order, 9 lessons the Marine Corps has taught me:
1. Always have a plan. And then 3 back up plans.
When we got orders 3 years ago, they were to 29 Palms. So I planned for a move there, even though I hated the thought of having to move. Then, about 3 weeks later, our orders switched to Camp Pendleton. So I planned for a move there. Then, about a week after that, we had orders back to Camp Lejeune. So in a period of about a month, I had planned moves to all three main Marine Corps bases in the US. Each plan had a couple scenarios- just because you never know!
2. Semper Gumby
This kinda goes with the first one- Always Flexible! Things will never work out in the simplest, most straightforward way. This is the Marine Corps after all. You just have to know that everything will eventually work out. Until then, just sit back, relax, and go with the flow. Everything will eventually work out. (This is about the only thing keeping me sane right now during our big fat waiting game. I know eventually things will be ok. It might not be how we thought, but it will all be ok.)
3. I am way stronger than I ever thought I could be.
Deployments have taught me that. You just keep going- it doesn't matter how much things suck, you CAN and WILL do it. When your husband is deployed, giving up (at least for me) is not an option. It just isn't. So you just need to put on your big girl panties and realize that this too shall pass. And when it does pass- you will realize that you can do anything... even the stuff you thought you could never do, or wanted to do!
4. Bloom where you are planted.
A very wise retired Marine Corps wife told me that once, and it has stuck with me. You will succeed wherever you are, you just need to believe that you can. When you are handed orders to all sorts of strange locations, it is terrifying. But then you remember that you will only ever be in one place for a few years, and you just need to make the best of it, and make an impact in the best way you know how. Get involved, make friends, and make the best of it. If we had gone to 29 Palms, I would have been terrified, but I eventually would have gotten over it, and made the best of it.
5. The brand new language of acronyms!
BAH, BAS, PCS, TDY, MARSOC, MEU, MEF..... There are times when I am pretty sure my family and (civilian) friends think I am speaking in some sort of secret code. The Marine Corps has taught me the wonderful world of acronyms, and a super fun way to confuse the crap out of everyone outside the Marine Corps. I have really loved learning about the Marine Corps, and all the quirky things that go along with it. I am pretty sure I will never stop learning or asking questions... I just hope Randy is ready for that!
6. Distance isn't necessarily a bad thing
It's the truth. Seriously. After almost 2 years of Randy being a geo-bachelor, I really think that our relationship is stronger than it has ever been. We are forced to communicate- which is not a bad thing at all. We talk a few times over the course of the day- and are careful to not dwell on the bad, negative, and insignificant things. It's kinda like those 30 minute, once a week deployment calls. It's pointless to tell him about some silly thing that upset me. We also bicker a lot less. When you only see each other for 3 days a week, it's pointless to waste that valuable time on silly stuff. Obviously, I would rather live with my husband like normal people, but I don't think it's a bad thing- especially for a guy who didn't really like to communicate well- it has forced him to learn how to!
7. It never gets easier- you just know more.
I have had many conversations with many different people. I have now done deployments as a friend, girlfriend, fiancee, and finally as a wife. It never gets easier. You just learn how to deal with it, and you learn that it's only as bad as you let it be. I have learned that deployments are "easier" when I am busy and have lots going on, and when I am not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. It can ALWAYS be worse. Deployments are bad for me- but they are worse- at least in my perspective- for my friends that have children. As bad as you think you have it, there is someone that always has it worse. Yes, the boy and I are not living together right now, but we see each other practically every weekend. There are some geo-bachelors that probably go months without seeing their families. It can always be worse!
8. Friends are like family.
I truly cannot imagine what my life would be like if it didn't have my Marine Corps friends in it. I have been so blessed with meeting such awesome friends- who are now family. I have probably met people from every single state. People that are different from me, have a different perspective than I do, and challenge my opinions and beliefs... in a respectful way of course! I hope that every single one of them know how grateful I am for all that they have taught me. My Marine Corps family is amazing and I certainly wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for those people.9. There is no good way for your boyfriend/fiance/husband to tell you he is deploying.
There just isn't. You always end up feeling like someone has ripped your heart out and punched you in the gut. I have been told over the phone, found out in a roomful of strangers, and have totally been prepared for it.... but it still sucked to hear concrete dates. But as much as it sucks to hear it, I can't even imagine how it feels to be the one delivering that news, and knowing what it will do to me. Regardless, it usually ends up with me in tears, with a large bottle of wine!And- as a bonus- and to end on a happy note:
10. There is nothing more rewarding and amazing than Homecoming.
There is nothing better than Homecoming. It doesn't even have to be your own. It is hands down the best part about the Marine Corps life- and something I wouldn't trade for anything. |
| photo by Amanda Courtney Photography |
I have learned a lot in the last 9 years, but I know that the Marine Corps has so much more to teach me. I hope that the Marine Corps sees fit to let us stick around until retirement. I know that Randy and I have a lot more to learn- and a lot more to give back!
