Happy 237th Birthday Marines!

(Yes, I know, the actual birthday was on the 10th.  But since we aren't celebrating until tomorrow, I still get to use that title.)

Tomorrow night, I will put on a fancy dress, uncomfortable heels, and strut my stuff at our battalion's birthday ball.  I honestly am not sure there is any other branch of the military that celebrates their "birthday" the way the Marine Corps does, but it sure is fun.  It is the one night of the year in the Marine Corps that is really just fun.... mandatory fun yes... but still just fun.  

There is a lot of ceremony and tradition, and some somber moments of reflection and remembrance.  The ceremony reminds us what it means to be a part of the family that is the Marine Corps, and how truly important our Marines' roles are in protecting our country. (And, a handful of days after finding out that deployment #5 is official, it will be good for me to have this reminder.)

It also makes for some fantastic people watching.....ha!  (Gold lame' mini anybody?!)

This year will be my 9th ball.  I've actually been to more than the boy has.  The year he was deployed, the unit that was tasked with keeping an eye on us invited all the spouses to their ball.  So I took my sister as a date, and we had a fun girls night with all the other ladies. 

So here's a look back at us at Birthday Balls of the past:

2004

 This was our very first ball! The boy had gotten home from Iraq about 5 weeks earlier. I flew down from Penn State, and the drastic change in weather gave me a cold.  This was also my first experience with Marine wives- I will never forget the one wife who felt it necessary to show me that she was in fact duct taped into her dress!

2005

2006

With my baby sister! She was sweet enough to fly down to North Carolina and we had a blast!

2007

Our first ball at Quantico.  Obviously a bit intoxicated, and the woman that did my hair sprayed me with glitter before I could protest... bleh.

2008

This is my fave!

2009

Drunk again... ha!

2010

Birthday ball.....in the gym.  And dress recycling!

2011

So there ya go- the years in review.  There is obviously some drinking, lots of fun, and plenty of great memories each year.  It is such a fun, special night for us all- and it never hurts to be in a room surrounded by Marines in dress blues!

It's a part of this life

Well.

I've had 2 beers, 3 meltdowns, and my eyes are just about swollen shut.  But I still haven't completely wrapped my brain around this latest bit of news.

 Come spring  2013, the boy will be deploying for a fifth time.

5 deployments.  Seriously??

Before you say anything, let me tell you what I do know at this very moment in time:
 -I know that this is always a possibility, being married to an infantry Marine during a time of global upheaval and conflict.
-I know that there are good things, and that I will find the positive in all this.
-I know that this will be good for his career and his new rank.
-I know that it is NOT a combat deployment.... at least today it isn't.
-I know that this will be the worst that I feel, with the exception of the day he actually leaves.
-I know that I am allowed to feel exactly how I am feeling at this very second.  I deserve a chance to wallow in absolute self pity, and feel incredibly sorry for myself. (I also know, that because this is the 5th time that my husband has had to call and tell me that he is deploying, that this too shall pass.)

But I just don't want to play Pollyanna right now.  I am emotionally exhausted for so many reasons, and I just want a chance to feel sorry for myself.  It is rare that I allow that to happen, because I just refuse to dwell on all the negative in my life.

Deployments are a part of this life.  

Yes, I knew that.  Yes, the boy knew that.  It still does not make it one bit easier.  Deployments are never easy.  If they were, I would seriously question why I continue to stick around to put myself through this.  Deployments are hard, and test you in ways that you never dreamed you would be tested and challenged.  I hate every last second of having to be away from my husband. 

I have very mixed emotions right now, and I am angry at anyone and anything that happens to cross my path.  I apologize for that- but at the same time, I just cannot help myself.  I am once again having some feelings of regret, and wondering what if we had made different choices at step 1, 12, or 2597.  There's no point in looking backward though.  I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, but that's how I feel.  All I want is to live with my husband again and be "normal".  I honestly didn't think that was too much to ask, but apparently when the USMC is involved, it is.

So, tomorrow I will wake up, put on my big girl panties and my superhero cape, and keep leading the life that I have chosen.  The boy will deploy in March whether I like it or not, whether I stick out my tongue and stomp my foot, whether I think it's unfair or not right.  Nothing will stop the clock, so I will embrace it as best I can.

This is a part of this life, and it is what I have chosen.  Good, bad, indifferent or otherwise.  It just doesn't matter.  Deployment number 5 is here to stay, and despite our best efforts, it is happening.  

I will keep telling myself that, but it doesn't mean that the pit in my stomach and the lump in my throat will go away any faster.

Vote!

This is the 4th Presidential Election that I have had the privilege and duty of voting in.

I have never gotten one of those fun little stickers though, because I have always voted by absentee ballot.  In 2000 and 2004 I was a Penn State student.  In 2008 and now in 2012 I am a military spouse.

But that hasn't stopped me.  This year I requested my absentee ballot on the very first day Pennsylvania allowed you to request ballots.  I sent it back within 2 days, and felt... proud? happy? excited? All of the above really.

It is really an honor for me to be able to exercise my right to vote, a right that my husband has fought to protect.  (Yes I know I am dragging my military spouseness into this, but hey, its true!)  

This is going to be short and to the point- make sure that you exercise your right to vote tomorrow.  I am not so concerned with the who part- although I think everyone knows that there is a particular candidate I prefer more than another- but you need to get out there and vote.  

It is incredibly important.  Men and women have died protecting our freedom to vote.

It is our right, responsibility, duty, and honor as an American.  

DO IT!

Pit Bull Awareness Month

This is my dog.
     (Well, Randy's dog.)

Mocha girl.  

She is a lab-maybe pit-maybe boxer- mix.
     (A mutt.)

And a spoiled rotten brat.

I found out a couple weeks ago that October is Pit Bull Awareness month.  And while we are not completely sure that Mocha is part pit- we have tried to be good pet parents and ambassadors for the breed in general.  

I love dogs.  LOVE them.  I grew up with German Shepherds... I am a big dog kind of girl.  Before Mocha flung (flang? flinged?) herself into our world, we were shopping for a puppy of the shepherd variety.  We had agreed that we would get a puppy that summer, when I would be home to train it and housebreak it and all that puppy stuff.  

Little did we know, a teeny mutt had other plans for us.  We all know the story- sweet Randy was helping our neighbors move, and when they got to the neighbors new place, the previous occupants had abandonded their 4 month old puppy.  She had been locked in her cage for at least 3 days, with no food and water.  Randy calls me and asks if we could keep her.  There was a gross misunderstanding, and I was suckered into keeping her.  This was of course after many phone calls to lots of shelters and rescue organizations.  The rescue groups couldn't take her- they were all full.  The shelter would take her, but would euthanize her, because she could possibly be part pit bull.  

The thought of taking this adorable creature to a shelter that would only kill her broke my heart.  (Ask my dad- I was devastated, and hysterical crying.)  I just couldn't bring myself to let that happen.  It didn't matter to me what kind of dog she was- all I knew is that she needed to be rescued.  

And here we are, almost 5 years later.  We still aren't totally sure what kind of dog we have, but I do make a point of saying we think she is part pit bull. We try to be good ambassadors for the breed- even if she isn't part pit bull.  I've gotten to the point where I just might rescue some more pit bull type dogs- just to prove to everyone how incredibly sweet and caring and lovable these dogs are.  We have worked hard to have a well trained, well mannered dog.  And while she isn't perfect, and most of the time is scared of her own shadow, she is still a pretty fantastic dog who is throwing a lot of stereotypes right out the window.  

My point in all this rambling is this- if you see us walking down the street, don't run away scared.  Stop and ask us questions- we are happy to tell you Mocha's story.  She will love on you and let you pet her.... and if you are tiny enough, maybe let you climb all over her.   

She makes a great babysitter- and thinks that she can do a much better job of caring for children.

I'm hopeful that one day Mocha won't have to deal with the stereotypes.  People will realize that it's the person, not the breed, that makes a dog what it is or isn't.  But until then, we will take her wherever we go, and we will answer people's questions.  We will keep smiling when they cross to the other side of the street when they see us coming.  We will keep being good ambassadors- and hopefully change someone's opinion along the way. 

5 years

Today is our 5th wedding anniversary.

Where has the time gone? I don't feel like it has been 5 years... but then again, I also don't feel 30, and it is hard for me to believe it has been 8 years since our very first deployment.

But- 5 years it is.  October 6, 2007.  We were lucky enough to have a lot of fantastic friends that traveled 600 plus miles to be with us to celebrate. (Our wedding party alone traveled probably 5000 miles total to be with us... now those are some good friends!)  I am still incredibly thankful to each and every one of them that was able to make it.  I'm sad that some of those friends we have not seen since that day, but I do know that eventually our paths will cross again. I just know that I have some incredible memories of that weekend, and we were just so lucky to share it with so many people.

We have been through a lot in 5 years... but even more in the 8 years we have been together.  Every challenge and experience has brought us to exactly where we are today, and I am incredibly thankful for every obstacle that we have come across.  It has only made us better and stronger- because we did it together.  

I am thankful to be married to a guy that seems to find a new way to make me laugh every single day.  He encourages me, challenges me, and drives me crazy on a daily basis.  He is willing to sacrifice so that I can be successful. Overall, I am a pretty lucky girl.  I am thankful for what I have- a pretty awesome husband.... who is a complete goofball and does stuff like this on our wedding day:

Why yes... of course he did that!

I can't wait to see what the next 5, 15, 50 years hold for us!

Happy Anniversary babe!

How do you measure a year?

I watched Rent earlier today so if the title of this blog rings a bell for anyone, that's probably why.  I am not sure what made me watch it... but what stuck out to me was that line... how do you measure a year?  A year in the Marine Corps can be measured by days left at a duty station, days until you get orders, days until your best friends move back to the same coast as you, or days until a deployment is finished. For us, this past year has been measured by my Marine being home.   (Maybe not in the most conventional sense of the word, but home nonetheless!)


One year ago today, I was on my way to Camp Lejeune for our homecoming.  Tomorrow, September 19th, marks one whole year since the boy got home from his most recent deployment

by Amanda Courtney Photography

 It really amazes me that one whole year has gone by since that day... since I was able to wrap my arms around him for the first time in 206 days... since I was finally able to take a deep breath again and know that everything would be okay.

by Amanda Courtney Photography

This year has been measured by how far removed we are from a deployment.  The boy and I are lucky enough to be an entire year away from a deployment ending, and not have a deployment looming in the near future.  It is actually a strange place for us to be, and kind of hard for us (well, at least for me).  We have a couple friends deployed right now, a handful that just got home, and very close couple of friends that will be leaving in the next few months.  It is a weird feeling of guilt... that I really have a hard time putting into words.  But that is life in the Marine Corps- when it comes to deployments in our world, we all serve our time and do what we need to do.   We don't play the who had it worse game, we are there to support each other no matter what, and be there for the family members that are holding down the home front.

The year in front of us will hopefully be measured by the time we are able to spend together.  We have been doing the geo-bachelor thing for almost 2 years now, and I am hopeful that there is an end in sight for us.  I am hopeful that things will be back to "normal", and that we will be living under one roof and driving each other crazy.  I'm hoping we will wind up relatively close to home, but I am not holding my breath for that one... you just never know what curve ball the Marine Corps will throw at you!

Until then, I will be happy with where my guy is- 365 whole days of being safe on US soil!

by Amanda Courtney Photography

Good News!

Four days ago, we FINALLY got some good news.

That my friends, is the MARADMIN letting us know that the boy has been selected for promotion!!!!!!

Not only are we completely thrilled that he was selected, we were also pleasantly surprised that this was released a whole month earlier than we thought.  (I think that is the first time that has ever happened in the history of all things Marine Corps.... ha!)  

For us, this selection means so much more than just a pay increase, a new rank, and new responsibilities.  This selection means that we have a bit of security and know that we are able to stay in the Marine Corps until retirement.  It also means that the boy is able to resubmit his package for recruiting.  I still have a few more Marine Corps birthdays to celebrate.  And I still might get my cross country road trip!

I am so incredibly proud of Randy.  He has worked so hard for the last 9 years to make himself the very best Marine he can be.  We now know that all the sacrifice, time apart, deployments and hard work has been worth it.  He has accomplished anything he has ever set his mind to, and this latest achievement-while some of it was out of our hands- is a testament to how hard he worked.  

Looking back,  A LOT of people told us that everything happens for a reason, things will work out how they were supposed to, etc... and it was just very hard to hear that.  Neither of us it turns out really believed that he would be selected.  We were both preparing for the worst- and not even really hoping for the best.  He had taken a week of leave to make some connections and set up some interviews because we really believed that our time in the Marine Corps was up.   Now he gets to spend the week relaxing and not worrying so much about the future.... and working on deciding what kind of motorcycle he wants.  (I promised him years ago that when he pinned on SSgt, he could get a bike.)  

Now we get to wait a little bit longer and see exactly when he will be promoted.  That part I am not so worried about- the boy seems to think it will be by the end of 2012, which again, would be way sooner than I thought!

Whew.  I still can't believe that the waiting game is over, and things actually worked out in our favor.  Since we found out on Friday, I have been sleeping better, and this splitting headache that I've had just disappeared.  I didn't really know how much this was stressing me out until it was no longer there for me to worry about.  

Now, onward to retirement!  I just cannot wait to see where our Marine Corps journey takes us next!