30 day project- Day 25

Day 25- A picture of your day

stuff for me

 

 

 

 

stuff for Randy

My day today consisted of some retail therapy.

For one reason or another, I've just been feeling kinda blah the last few days.  So I took a trip down to Fredericksburg.  Old Navy, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Hobby Lobby are a few of the places I went.  

Old Navy was having some pretty good summer sales- which immediately made me think of our cruise- which is still about 10 months away.  But I got a couple things to wear on the cruise, and some new PJ pants.  I don't know why, but new PJ pants make me just about as happy as anything. 

I went grocery shopping too- although somehow I came away with more stuff to send to Randy then to feed myself for the week.  That second picture is allllll stuff for him.  He's requested junk food.  He's worried that he will lose weight while he's over there, so hopefully that will help.  

The rest of my day will be relaxing with a glass of wine, my homemade pizza, and my new Professor Layton game for my DS. 

30 day project- Day 24

Day 24- A picture of something you wish you could change

I've been sitting here staring at this title for a good hour trying to figure out something I would like to change.  The obvious answer for me at the moment just seems unfair.  Of course I wish that I could change the fact that my husband is gone right now, but in the world of the military, all that really means is that someone else's husband would be away in Randy's place.  And to me, that's just not fair. 

So, if there was one thing I would change, especially lately, it would be the media's coverage of our servicemembers who are serving in Iraq, and now in Afghanistan.  I wish that our brave men and women got as much front page coverage as silly celebrities with their silly problems. 

These people give up their families, friends, furbabies, and all the comforts of home to protect our freedom, and somehow that barely rates a headline these days.  Something about that just doesn't sit well with me, and I really wish there was something I could do to change that.

I miss him.

Ok, its only been 2 weeks. 

So I feel completely ridiculous saying this.  But I miss Randy.

Photo by Christina Canterbury

  

I've actually been surprised by how much I've been able to talk to him, while he has been in transit.  But today was the last phone call for who knows how long.  It could be tomorrow, it could be next week, it could be a month from now.  And I think that thought finally made this very real.  

(Because clearly, my husband hopping a plane to the other side of the world didn't make it real enough for me-ha!)

All of a sudden, the reality of all this seems too much for me to handle.  How can I really and truly handle 26 more weeks of this?  (I'm hesitant to write all this because I don't want my poor husband to think I'm punking out on him- trust me I can handle it- it has just been an off day!)

26 weeks?!  It might as well be a lifetime. 

I can't get through a work day fast enough- it seems like time is standing still.  I can't flip the page of my weekly planner soon enough- I don't have enough stuff going on to distract me.  All I want to do is turn the page to April- because then it will be more weeks down, one more month down.  


I miss being able to call him on my way home from work.  I miss being able to tell him about my day- every day.  I miss just sitting on the couch with him and relaxing.  I miss him getting the dog off my back for a while- she will just not leave me alone!  I miss him making fun of me, and making me laugh every day.  


But somehow, somehow....... 6 and a half months sounds a lot more bearable than 7 months.  And tomorrow will be another day.  I will drag my sorry butt out of bed, put my jeans on (because Friday is jeans day at work) and just keep on keepin' on. 


What other choice do I have?  I'm a Marine wife, and right now my job is to miss my husband.  My job is to thrive each and every day while he is gone.  There's no point in staying miserable too long. 


In 6 and half months, my job as a Marine wife will be to not leave his side.  And that's what's getting me through today. 

30 day project- Day 23

Day 23- A picture of your favorite book

This book is AMAZING. 

It is by far one of my favorite books, one that I can read over and over again, one that I can pick up in the middle and read just my favorite parts. 

My mom gave me this to read I believe when Randy deployed for the second time in 2005.  The main character, Emma, is probably a little more stubborn than I am- which really says something.  She is determined to make the best of a bad situation, and do what she needs to to make herself happy.

This book inspires me over and over again.  There's one quote that I absolutely love.  It's on pg 388- I've dog eared the page probably dozens of times:

"What had been done could not be undone, and to have regrets was a waste of valuable time."

30 day project- Day 22

Day 22- A picture of something you wish you were better at

I wish I was more creative, and more crafty. 

I'm so jealous of my friends that can scrapbook, knit, sew, make cute things, and are amazing photographers.

 I'm too much of a perfectionist, and I HATE making mistakes- so being crafty really makes my head hurt.  I get frustrated too easily and usually wind up throwing things away sooner than trying to figure it out.  Unless I have a clear mental picture of what the finished product will look like, I just can't handle it!

30 day project- Day 21

Day 21- A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Portugal

 

 

Slovakia

 

 

Ireland

Lithuania

Again, I'm going to be difficult.  I can't pick just one.  I'd love to travel to any of the countries that make me- me.  I'm one quarter of each- Portuguese, Irish, Slovakian, and Lithuanian.  

Going to any of these countries would be an amazing experience, and an amazing opportunity to find out where my grandparents came from, and maybe even find some long lost relatives.  

I hope to make it to each of these places someday- hopefully sooner rather than later!

30 day project- Day 20

Day 20- A picture of something you wish you could forget

April 30, 2004

I am positive I am not the only one that wishes they could forget this day. 

This is a picture of Randy's vehicle- an LAV.  That big crater in front is where a car used to be.  A vehicle that was a bomb.  There are other pictures that I can't even bring myself to look at.  It's hard enough to look at this picture and think of what happened.

I think I've only heard the whole story of this day one time.  I'm not going to rewrite all the details out of respect for my husband, the men that lost their lives, and their families, and the Marines of Delta Company.  I know that it was a terribly tragic day that changed many lives.

I remember that I was studying for finals on April 30th.  I had one HUGE Political Science final on that Monday, and I was planning on studying in the park that day, because my friend April's bridal shower and bachelorette party were that Saturday, then my parents were coming into town for my birthday on Sunday. 

My phone rang early that morning, and it was Randy's wife (who, a month later would cheat on him and leave him) calling to tell me that he had been injured in a suicide bomb explosion.  From what she was able to gather, he had a cut on his head, and his leg was injured.  None of us really knew how bad anything was, and I remember waiting around all day to hear more details. I remember I didn't really react- because he had called her himself, so how bad could it really be?  (He later told me that he wanted to call me first, but his command wouldn't let him.)

So I went about my day, studying, getting ready for my weekend.  I came home and sat down to watch TV before going out for the night.  I remember laying in my bed and flipping through the channels, and them something made me stop.  I don't watch Fox News- but something made me turn back to the channel.  I was staring at a face that was so incredibly familiar to me, but I couldn't figure out why.  It was a guy- who was sitting in a bed, with his entire head bandaged from his eyebrows up.  It took me about 30 seconds to realize it was Randy.  In a hospital in Baghdad.  He was being interviewed (if I remember correctly) because control of Fallujah had been handed back over to the citizens.  It was a very violent day, so the loss of 2 Marines and injuries to others made the news here at home. 


It's a day that I wish I could forget, because it changed a lot of things.  Randy lost 2 friends, and he and the two others in the vehicle were injured.  The day, and the injuries that Randy suffered- both visible and invisible- impact our lives on a daily basis.  

Each April 30, I am reminded that life is short, so you must live each day to its absolute fullest.  I am reminded of how brave my husband and his friends were that day.  I am reminded of the ultimate sacrifice that so many Marines have made to protect my freedom.

But, most importantly, I am reminded of how incredibly lucky I am to have Randy in my life.