30 day project- Day 20

Day 20- A picture of something you wish you could forget

April 30, 2004

I am positive I am not the only one that wishes they could forget this day. 

This is a picture of Randy's vehicle- an LAV.  That big crater in front is where a car used to be.  A vehicle that was a bomb.  There are other pictures that I can't even bring myself to look at.  It's hard enough to look at this picture and think of what happened.

I think I've only heard the whole story of this day one time.  I'm not going to rewrite all the details out of respect for my husband, the men that lost their lives, and their families, and the Marines of Delta Company.  I know that it was a terribly tragic day that changed many lives.

I remember that I was studying for finals on April 30th.  I had one HUGE Political Science final on that Monday, and I was planning on studying in the park that day, because my friend April's bridal shower and bachelorette party were that Saturday, then my parents were coming into town for my birthday on Sunday. 

My phone rang early that morning, and it was Randy's wife (who, a month later would cheat on him and leave him) calling to tell me that he had been injured in a suicide bomb explosion.  From what she was able to gather, he had a cut on his head, and his leg was injured.  None of us really knew how bad anything was, and I remember waiting around all day to hear more details. I remember I didn't really react- because he had called her himself, so how bad could it really be?  (He later told me that he wanted to call me first, but his command wouldn't let him.)

So I went about my day, studying, getting ready for my weekend.  I came home and sat down to watch TV before going out for the night.  I remember laying in my bed and flipping through the channels, and them something made me stop.  I don't watch Fox News- but something made me turn back to the channel.  I was staring at a face that was so incredibly familiar to me, but I couldn't figure out why.  It was a guy- who was sitting in a bed, with his entire head bandaged from his eyebrows up.  It took me about 30 seconds to realize it was Randy.  In a hospital in Baghdad.  He was being interviewed (if I remember correctly) because control of Fallujah had been handed back over to the citizens.  It was a very violent day, so the loss of 2 Marines and injuries to others made the news here at home. 


It's a day that I wish I could forget, because it changed a lot of things.  Randy lost 2 friends, and he and the two others in the vehicle were injured.  The day, and the injuries that Randy suffered- both visible and invisible- impact our lives on a daily basis.  

Each April 30, I am reminded that life is short, so you must live each day to its absolute fullest.  I am reminded of how brave my husband and his friends were that day.  I am reminded of the ultimate sacrifice that so many Marines have made to protect my freedom.

But, most importantly, I am reminded of how incredibly lucky I am to have Randy in my life.
 

30 day project- Day 19

Day 19- A picture and a letter



How about a picture of LOTS of letters?

There's a container in our basement that has nothing but deployment letters in it- letters that I sent, letters that Randy sent, letters that our family and friends sent.  

If I were to guess, I'd say there's probably right around 450-500 letters in there.  Randy asked me to write every day, so there's a letter a day from 2 deployments, plus all the miscellaneous moto-mails that I sent, and then on top the mail from me, there are cards from classes of children, and family, and friends.  Its probably even more than 500.  I'm not even about to try to count all that though!


(You can also see in the container my super-anal, way too organized self shining through.  I have ziploc bags labeled with letters to him, to me, letters from friends, along with the dates the letters cover.  I think I'm crazy.)

Three deployments worth of letters.  

I haven't quite figured out why I'm saving all of this.  But I just can't bring myself to throw any of it away.  It's an entire chunk of our lives written out- how can I part with that?

After this deployment, I think we are going to need a bigger box!

30 day project- Day 18

Day 18- A picture of your biggest insecurity

That would be my weight.  

Hands down, no questions asked.  I try not to complain about it too much, because I don't really do much about it.  I don't really enjoy working out, and I eat junk on more than one occasion.  

But, when I look in the mirror, I am slightly less than thrilled with what I see.  Which is why one of my deployment goals is to lose somewhere between 15-20 lbs.  (On a sidenote, Randy is completely freaked out by me losing weight- he likes me the way I am.  But he also is supporting me, because he knows I will be happier.) 

I did that last time when Randy was gone, but over the last (almost) 4 years that he has been home, I've creeped back up to where I was before he left on the last deployment. 

I haven't started on this goal yet- I was giving myself a week to get back into a routine.  But this Monday- it's on!

30 day project- Day 17

Day 17- A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

This isn't necessarily a recent impact, just a constant one.

The USMC. 

Every single day, it is a constant impact on my life. 

I never really thought I'd have much to do with the military, so it's kind of shocking to think that every decision I make-or is made for me-has something to do with the Marine Corps. 

Now again, I'm certainly not complaining.  I've said over and over again that I love being a Marine wife- there are days that it is a challenge, but I wouldn't change it for anything. 

So to tie it into "recent"- last week the Marine Corps decided that my husband needed to go away for 7 months.  If that's not an impact on my life, I'm not sure what is.  I still haven't quite gotten used to the 3 second delay over the phone, or being bound to my stupid cell phone, but I'll get there eventually! (And probably by the time I get used to all those silly deployment quirks, he will be home again anyway.... ha!)

30 day project- Day 16

Day 16- A picture of someone who inspires you

Iraq 2006

That guy again.

He probably doesn't know this, but he inspires me every single day.  (This blog entry will probably make his head swell a little!)

Randy is the only person I know who has accomplished everything he has ever wanted to already in his life.  And he is not quite 26 years old.  He has overcome more adversity than anyone ever should, and has always come out better on the other side because of it. 

He has made a self-less decision to serve his country, and to leave behind his family and friends, and everything that he knows and loves.  He does it willingly, and with so much excitement and energy that I can't possibly be sad (for too long) about him being away.  

He strives to make himself a better person, a better Marine, a better husband, and a better leader every single day.  Because of that, I strive to be better too. 

I am just so incredibly proud to know him, let alone have him as my husband.  He is truly an inspiration to anyone that is lucky enough to have him in their life. 

30 day project- Day 15

Day 15- A picture of something you would like to do before you die

I had to think about this one for a while.  To pick just one thing is hard.  There are TONS of things I want to do before I die.  Although I'm not an adrenaline junkie like my husband, so my list is pretty tame. 

But since I have to pick just one thing,  I've been stuck on the idea of taking an RV on a long road trip.  I have no idea why, especially since I really hate the idea of camping.  But it just sounds like such a fun thing to do!

RV or not, there's a good chance I'll have the opportunity to take a cross-country road trip someday soon.  In fact, I already have the first half of the trip planned.  When we had orders to Camp Pendleton this summer, I started the planning process, just in case.  If you have to drive from one coast to the other, you might as well make it as fun and memorable as possible!

30 day project- Day 14

Day 14- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

That right there my friends is a loaded question.  

I can't really think of just one person I couldn't imagine being in my life. Every single person- good, bad, indifferent- have shaped me to be who I am today.  Everyone, down to my 5th grade teacher who used to yell at me because I made my cursive "p" the wrong way.... ugh.  I still get chills thinking about her.

I couldn't imagine my life without any of them.   If I hadn't crossed paths with that person at that exact moment, my life could have been way different from what it is at this moment.  

It may seem like I'm taking the easy way out- but again, its my blog so don't hate.  I love my life, and I wouldn't want to change anything.  Every person who has ever told me "you can't", every person who has cheered me on, every person who has told me I wasn't good enough- I thank them all.  It's because of them that I am ME today.